Special Wednesday

My lady and I had a great day yesterday.  We were both off from work, and so we slept in (relatively speaking) and enjoyed our coffee together. Next, we got ourselves down to the basement for a workout (bike for her, treadmill for me), followed by showering, which left us refreshed and ready for love-making.

I dressed in a purple bralette and panty set, covered by a purple chemise. I was also locked as usual in my 3D printed cage, which is the most comfortable one I own. She wore a somewhat matching bra and panty set, except hers accentuated rather than covered her breasts. She looked magnificent. 

She asked how we're doing on the orgasm ratio, and I told her that we were just barely above 3:1, pretty well below the target of 5:1 that she set, but I reminded her that the goals are there for me to follow and for her to change or deviate from whenever she feels like it. There's not much point in being the dominant partner if you can't just change the rules on a whim, is there?  

We next enjoyed a lengthy session of pussy worship. Methinks I could do that for hours. She unlocked me and proceeded to suck my cock; something she rather loves doing and I would not dream of denying her that pleasure, notwithstanding how much I enjoy it as well. I've mentioned previously that I'm above average in size, about 20 cm (8 in) in length and proportionally thick. My lady has determined that she enjoys taking me all the way into her throat, which is simply amazing on multiple fronts. She gets turned on from doing that, particularly when I am playing with her nipples at the same time. It is the most incredible feeling. She also rode me for a while, and then whispered in my ear that she was going to fuck me.

And so she did. We moved up to a realistic cock that is just marginally shorter than mine, and also slightly less thick. It has an advantage over the pink one we've been using because, even though it's bigger, it is more flexible. She entered me easily after some fingering, and lots of lube. They tell you that anal play requires lots of lube. I can confirm that it makes all the difference. It was easily the most enjoyable fuck she's given me.  While she did so, I sucked on Carl (our large black dildo) and  masturbated. My lady had a vibrating butt plug in her ass, and somehow managed to lodge another dildo in her pussy, held in place by the strap-on harness. We basically had all of our holes filled, except her mouth, which she took advantage of to say lots of dirty things!  

The situation got me fantasizing about Carl being a real guy, inviting us to his place for a party, only to discover that my lady and I were the entertainment for him and several of his friends, which made me rock hard. (Maybe I'll detail out that fantasy in an upcoming post). My lady gave me permission to cum, and so I did. She used my semen to lubricate her clitoris, and came shortly after I did. We cuddled for a while, and just enjoyed being together.

We had lunch, took naps, did some housekeeping, made dinner together, ate, watched some TV and then retired for the night. It was a great day, as I said in the beginning. I love my wife and I love our life. I am a very fortunate person.

Thanks for reading.

Jennifer

Tracking Chastity Time and Orgasms Ratio

I started logging my time locked this year, with the mindset that "what gets measured gets worked."  Starting rather slowly, on January first I locked up at 4:00 PM, thus accumulating only eight hours, and on the second I was locked for fifteen hours. So, out of the gates I was under 50%.  I set an initial goal of 85%, so I had some catching up to do. Over the next seven days, I recorded only nine unlocked hours, and 159 locked, raising my average to just under the 85% target. The next two days saw a decrease to give a small sore spot a chance to recover, but at the same time I also raised the target to 90%.

For the past ten days (through 20 Jan) I was locked for 237 of 240 hours. The only measured unlocked time was while making love with my lady. She likes my cock, and so she unlocks me for her pleasure, although she has indicated that she might sometimes keep me locked and have me strap on a dildo instead. 

I remove my cage every day and give everything a thorough inspection and cleaning while showering (and shaving every two or three days). I am learning to avoid the pinching parts, and keeping things pretty clean. I've been peeing sitting down for years anyway, so there's no issue around that.  I don't count hygiene as unlocked time because I'm counting in units of hours, and the shower only takes ten to fifteen minutes. 

My average for the month is now up to 90.4%.  I may reach 93% if I keep up the last ten days' pace for the next eleven, and unlock only when making love with my lady.

February includes to vacation time, so I expect to set a lower target level, and will lock when I can avoid having TSA ask, "WTF is that?" I don't care to involve non-consenting people in our kink, thank you very much. March brings another set of challenges which I may discuss in a future post. So, we'll see how the year plays out, month by month. I consider 2023 to be a data gathering year that will inform decisions we make about the future.

From what I've read, it's nearly always the man that suggests chastity, and the woman decides to take charge somewhat later, after the benefits to her become more certain and long-lasting. I am sure that it takes a significant commitment on her part to be the keyholder, and perhaps that's something she doesn't want to invest in until she's sure it's going to pay off.

I do enjoy being locked up; I like the comfortable physical feeling of the cage cradling my cock, and the psychological feeling that denied access brings with it, even if this is pretty much self-imposed. I have suggested to my lady several times that she might like to keep her copy of the keys out of my reach, while maintaining the other set for an emergency inside a tamper-evident security device (e.g., the a clear plastic box with numbered plastic locking tags that we already have). While she likes me being locked, she hasn't moved on that aspect of it, so I'll let it go. 

As to lovemaking, I suggested to my lady that she consider an orgasm ratio. After some thought, she decided that five to one is good (in her favor, to be clear). As it stands for the month, we're at seven to two, so for the next few sessions I expect that she will be orgasming and I will be denied. However, we're not beholden to anyone else's rules, so if she decides she wants me to climax, then I will. We'll see how this ratio thing turns out. It's meant to be a turn-on for both of us, and so far it is. She can change the ratio up or down as she pleases, or do away with it as a goal altogether. I'll happily comply, because the huge turn on for a submissive such as myself to give up control and follow her lead.

I enjoy lovemaking when it ends with a crashing orgasm for her, and she tells me, "you aren't cumming today." I am grateful for the journey that we've taken thus far. I was the kinkier one coming into this relationship, but she is the more adventurous one in many other aspects of our lives, and is catching up fast in this one. We're deeply in love and having the time of our lives.

Thanks for reading.

Jennifer

Carl Enters

Disclaimer: The title of this post is deliberately misleading and also a double entendre.  

My lady and I have been loving life, traveling, doing holidays and other vanilla life things in addition to our continued sexual escapades, and these are the excuses I'm using for the long gap in my posts.

The new year has brought on an opportunity for thoughts about how to deepen all aspects of our relationship, and we are taking advantage.  I'll limit this scope in this post to sex-related developments, for the reader's sake (you're welcome).

My lady has really taken to pegging me, and we do it quite regularly now. We've moved up in size from the smallest dildo, a brown one around 13 cm long to a pink one that's around 15 or 16 cm.  We have an array of other dildos, up to our largest one, which we've named Carl (in part because we don't know anyone by that name).

Carl is starting to play a more consistent role in our lovemaking. Carl is a long, rather thick ebony dildo. We decided to give him a name since he normally participates, and it's just easier to assign a name. My lady likes to suck Carl while I watch, because she knows it turns me on a lot. I think she also enjoys it for the thrill in and of itself. The other day she fucked herself with Carl while I watched, still constrained in the cock cage that I've been wearing since the start of the year (that'll be another post) it was really hot. She also likes to put Carl to my lips and watches as I suck him off, telling me that he's going to cum in my mouth. That also gets me going, particularly when my lady is pegging me at the same time. I suppose it would be difficult to argue that I'm hetero based on the above, but I am not attracted to men, and only think of cocks when I'm quite aroused, so if there's a word for that, maybe that's me.

The fantasy of having a large, strong, dominant black man participate in our lovemaking is something we explore frequently in our sessions. I know it might be viewed as either racist or stereotypical. I assure you that we are definitely not the former, and we are aware that the latter is true and I admit that is part of the thrill. The turn on for me has to do with color contrast and the lingering societal taboo of interracial sex (Western society has come a very long way in my lifetime regarding such things, but there is still a long way to go). Anyway, if we can enjoy this fantasy without impacting anyone else, we don't see the harm.  

And while it is just fantasy, I sometimes think that if the perfect circumstances were to present themselves, I would be open to making it a reality. Or not, I don't know if I really could go through with it. That said, the potential - real or imagined - adds fuel to my fire. I do not think my lady would take that step in any circumstance because, unlike me, her higher brain functions continue to work when she is aroused, but it excites me to pretend that she's going to want to do it for real one day.

Of course, moving from fantasy to reality is fraught with risk. In our fantasy, Carl has the psychological and physical traits we desire. He enters and exits at our whim, and he plays by our rules, and is healthy and clean. Of course in reality any third person would be less than physically perfect (as are we), but more importantly their feelings and desires would become a vital part of the equation, and the variability is largely unconstrained and somewhat unpredictable, even if we assume we did careful vetting. Who knows what dynamics might occur, positive or negative? Maybe we'd all get along great, maybe trouble would brew. Way too risky. So, fantasy it remains for now, and likely forever.

Chastity, Denial and Pegging

 As I write this post, I am approaching 21 days without an orgasm. By tomorrow I'll be in personal-best territory. It's been a challenging last couple of weeks for me, and not because of the above mentioned abstinence. I've been having difficulty sleeping, and for me that is foundational to my mood and my outlook. Consequently, all of the routine pressures that arise, at work or at home are magnified. I find the news in all its forms completely disheartening and a feeling of doom has threatened to overwhelm me.  My Lady has been very patient with me as I've tried various approaches to solving the problem. The fundamental solution has been to... wait for it... get more shut-eye.  And so I have been able to pay down the sleep deficit and my mood has improved. I still need a set of physical, behavioral and mental changes to enable me to sleep better, including more exercise, less alcohol, less news / social media, more reading of positive books, and perhaps meditation.  

And more sex. The other thing that suffered with my mood drop was our intimacy, which didn't disappear but was limited to weekends. She missed our close physical and emotional contact greatly while I was wallowing in misery. Having emerged from the funk, I know that I missed it as well, and the lack thereof compounded the overall dire outlook.  As I said, She was patient, and welcomed me back into Her loving arms.  That's why I've not been posting for the last few weeks.

I've been trying to use my chastity cages to stay locked and secure, but I have an issue with them. A certain medical treatment that I've undergone has resulted in the temporary reduction in the size of my testicles, and consequently they little fellas slip through the gap between cage and ring, rendering the device useless. It's been frustrating. I'm hopeful that the situation will resolve itself soon, because I miss the physical and psychological effect of being caged, and was looking forward to the day that my Lady and I would decide that it was time to formally hand over the keys. I am aware of other solutions besides ball-trapping devices, but not ready to go there at this time. As things stand now, I'm on the honor system, and while I do take liberties in terms of stroking my morning wood, I have been careful not to orgasm by self-stimulation.

My Lady and I discussed this, and She is not opposed to me masturbating sometimes, even to climax. I really prefer not to, though, because doing so would diminish my drive and take at least a few days to recover. I have encouraged Her to masturbate whenever She desires because her libido is greater and Her recovery time is much shorter. I recently bought Her a Lelo clitoral vibrator that I hope She'll learn to use and enjoy. I find the idea of Her having unlimited orgasms while She restricts mine to be highly erotic and physically practical.

We haven't had a session that I can recall over the past six weeks in which She hasn't pegged me. She's getting really good at it, and She assures me that She loves doing it. I think She is getting off on the power exchange, which of course is a major turn-on for me as well. Yesterday afternoon's session was perhaps the best so far. She stroked my cock in time with Her thrusting the Her strap-on cock into me, slowly rhythmically, while staring into my eyes and saying erotic things to me. We stopped before I came. It was amazing.  All this was after we first brought Her to a long-lasting, intense climax that was stoked by a long session of Her riding my cock followed by mutual oral, with Her on top of course. I really love when She comes on my face!  After resting for a bit, She tied me to the bed, stroked my cock, and fingered my ass until I begged Her to fuck me.

We have a special day coming up this Friday, and I asked Her to deny me until then. At first She had wanted me to climax yesterday while She fucked me, but then She changed Her mind and told me I had to wait. This morning, our wake-up cuddle time evolved into a climax-free fuck, where we both just really enjoyed the feeling of my cock inside Her until She decided to stop. Now we're on with our Monday morning, but with a much better outlook on life than I have had for a while. Afterall, my Lady is my whole world. Her love sustains me.  All of life's problems are invited to kindly go fuck-off and leave us alone.

Thanks for reading,

Jennifer

Making Our Own Fireworks

This Independence Day weekend brought lots of beautiful weather to our little neck of the woods, which we took advantage of it to spend some lovely outdoor time and celebrate the holiday with friends. We also had significant quality time in the boudoir. 

Leading up to and through the weekend, I spent nearly all of it with my cock locked in its 3D printed cage. I like the security of wearing the device, and the psychological effect of keeping myself chaste so that my Lady can have me at the top of my game when it pleases Her. The locking part was true from Wednesday onward. Having orgasmed twice last weekend, my desire for sex suffered diminution for a few days, and my routine of self-locking fell out as a result. By mid-week, things were perking up again, and back I went into the cage. So, it was really only about three days of non-stop chastity for me before the weekend festivities began on Saturday. 

I can lock and unlock at my discretion; the keys are available to me when I choose to use them. I don't know if that will remain true. It will be my Lady's decision if She wants to take away the key access and require me to ask Her for them. I purchased a small clear lock box and plastic locks in case She decides to keep one set for emergencies while hiding the set that She possesses. Also, in preparation for that possibility I've devised a method of showering that enables me to get a very good soapy rinse all around my groin area, so I'm confident that I can remain clean and healthy while locked. I can also shave a fair amount of the area, but complete shaving will definitely require removal at some interval. 

Saturday morning's session was filled with all the things I love: worshipping my Lady and all Her glorious parts, and receiving Her attention in return. It culminated in a lengthy and intense orgasm for Her, brought on ultimately by my oral homage. She really enjoys looking down upon me as I worship Her Pussy, and I love when we make and hold eye contact in those moments. She made it clear that I would not be climaxing that day, as we had the whole weekend and She wanted me ready, willing and able. So, back into the cage I went and we proceeded with our day.

Sunday turned out to be a busy day, with lots of preparations leading up to the social gathering and the fireworks display. We didn't have naked time together, but we spent the whole day being together doing all the other things that loving, married couples do. I so enjoy being in Her company, doing whatever we need to do, so it was still a great day. I know how She feels about me, and I know that She also loves our time together equally as much.

Monday there were more fireworks, but they were the indoor, private kind. I worshipped Her extensively, and She unlocked me to make use of my rigidness. She was planning to just tease for a while, and save Herself for an afternoon session, but things got going so well that She changed Her mind and again orgasmed on my face, this time in a sixty-nine position. I locked myself back up, and She told me that in the afternoon She was going to fuck me.

Fuck me She did, indeed. After preparing myself carefully, I started on the bed, caged, wearing a bralette and panties, cuffed and blindfolded, while She had Her way with me, teasing me and making me ache with desire. After a while, She freed me from the restraints, panties, blindfold and cage, and got off the bed to put on the harness and realistic strap-on cock. While She did that, I started to go a bit soft. Seeing that, She first had me suck Her cock, which I did with enthusiasm, and my hard-on returned in short order. She knew it would. Sucking Her fake cock is a real turn-on.

She then took me in a new way: on my back, my ass raised slightly by pillow and Her standing by the bed. It didn't take long to prepare me, as my ass is getting used to these penetrations. One finger and then two, and a short while later I was ready for Her cock. Not long after penetrating me, She started a rhythm, thrusting deep into me, really fucking me hard. It felt so good. I watched Her expression, and could see how much She was into getting into me. At one point, She said that She's going to need to fuck me with a bigger cock soon. We have a large black dildo that's probably ten inches long and quite thick. The thought of being able to take that beast really got me going and also frightens me a bit. I guess I'm a size queen. :-)

My Lady told me that I could climax, so while She continued to pound my ass I stroked my cock and sucked on the aforementioned black dildo. I came long and hard. It was the most intense orgasm I've had in quite some time. We both went to rinse things off, and I came back thinking we would complete the session by me helping Her climax again, but She was quite content to call and end to the session. She said, "it's ok for it to sometimes be all about you."  She is amazing. 

Unlike last week, I decided that I'd better lock myself up right away. My lady checked later while we were in the kitchen, and She was pleased that I'd done so. We ended the day on the sofa, Her feet in my lap while I massaged lotion into them and generally made Her feel good. 

What I take away from this weekend are these observations: First, our love for each other grows deeper by the day, as we spend time doing everything that we do together. Second, I'm confident that She really loves what we're doing in the bedroom, and that is an essential element. It would ruin things for me if She was just doing it for my benefit. Third, the more She fucks me, the deeper I fall into the submissive role in our marriage. It's difficult for me to act any other way during a given day when I know that I'm going to get fucked good and proper later on. The anticipation hangs in the air, and affects my attitude in a very positive way for that strengthens my respect and love for Her. 

Being the submissive doesn't mean waiting around to be told what to do all the time, or having no say in anything. To me, it comes down to this. I judge my actions each day by a simple test: Is what I'm doing make life better for my Lady? If yes, then I try do it. If no, then I try to avoid it. It means She spends Her time doing what She likes to do, and I spend my time doing what She delegates to me, doing what I see or think of that needs doing, and finding creative ways to serve Her in a manner that She doesn't expect. I don't profess perfection in this regard; I'm a work in progress. But I profess my boundless love for Her, and have dedicated my life to pleasing Her in every way that I can. I have married the perfect Woman for me, and I've never been happier nor more content in my life.

Thanks for reading.

Jennifer

Thoughts on Pegging

My Lady has now fucked me every weekend for the last three, and this weekend She pegged me twice. The first was with the large pink phallus strapped to Her harness. It felt really good, but to be honest it's a big rigid and can be uncomfortable if the angle is slightly off. Not to say I didn't enjoy it. On the contrary, I enjoyed it very much. I masturbated while She fucked me, and sucked on a realistic dildo. She told me I was permitted to cum, and so I did, all over my belly.  She tasted my ejaculate, and then used it as a lubricant to stimulate Herself and climaxed while I sucked on Her Nipples. My cock deflated pretty quickly after my orgasm, so it wasn't much use to Her. She mentioned the fact afterward, and I told Her that it's one of the reasons that I prefer it when She climaxes first.

On Sunday, we tried the purple strapless dildo that is supposed to be retained by the part that She inserts in Her Pussy. Maybe it would work for a lesbian couple, but I think the resistance associated with the recipient receiving anal is too much; the other end just doesn't stay inside Her. Thinking we could fix that problem, I'd purchased a harness that allows Her end of the strap-on to fit inside Her and still have the business end be at a comfortable angle, with the added security of the harness to hold things in place. Well, the purple thing is really rigid, much more than the pink one, and after a few minutes we realized that it wasn't working. We decided to put it aside and try something else. We may return to it in the future. 

Enter the realistic cock. We actually have two that are pretty similar to each other, and they are like my own cock: 7.5 - 8.0" long, cut, and reasonably thick (mine's slightly thicker). The package says it's 9" long, but some of it is unusable (because of the balls, base, and where it mounts to the strap-on ring).  The fake cocks are made of those dual layer silicone that's more rigid inside with a softer exterior. She lubed up the cock and it slid quite easily into my ass. It felt really good. It was definitely the best fucking She's given me. Again, I sucked another dildo (a big black cock) and masturbated. She again gave me permission to cum, and it was another large one.

There are some things to contemplate surrounding this new dynamic.

First, My Lady really likes fucking me, and I like when She does. There's definitely a power exchange going on there. I feel more submissive to Her each time She does it, and it appears that She is gaining more comfort dominating me. She says nasty things to me, telling me that my ass is Hers, that She loves fucking me, and that She's going to fuck me a lot going forward. I'm looking forward to it. My submissive feelings last well after the event. I find myself even more attentive to Her, and I look for more ways to make Her life better.

Second, Her control of my orgasms is increasing. She pretty much decides when I climax and when I can be out of the cock cage. We went to dinner with friends over the weekend, and as we dressed, I asked if She wanted me caged. She said, "yes, the bathrooms there are private, so there's no reason not to." I'm better off when I'm caged and when I don't cum as often.  After climaxing twice this weekend, my libido took a hit, and I'm just now starting to regain it. I told Her about that, and She said, "maybe I need to limit your climaxes to every six months!"  If I'm serious about giving up control then the duration is Her decision. It might take a while to work up to that level of denial, frankly. I know She loves and cares for me greatly, so I trust Her to set the intervals to something that is good for both of us. She has allowed me to be out of the cage for a few days, but it's time to go back in; I can tell. I bought one of those lock boxes with the numbered plastic locks that can be put on it. We haven't used it yet, but at some point perhaps She will take Her set of keys and put them where I cannot access them, while locking the other set up for emergency use only.

Third, the fact that the last four times I've cum has been while She fucked me and I sucked a fake cock is not lost on either of us. I have never been attracted to men, but when I'm sexually aroused and feeling submissive, cocks are a definite turn-on. I'd call myself bisexual in those moments. We've had conversations about threesomes, and cuckolding. We've play-acted using the dildos (on Sunday, She egged me on as I fucked Her with the BBC and sucked Her Clitoris at the same time). My Lady feels strongly against actually allowing another man into our play, and I'm 100% supportive of Her position. She also has zero interest in another woman, so that's off the table as well. There's a tremendous amount of risk in adding a third person to a sexual relationship; it's just not something that is realistic, at least for the foreseeable future. Of course, that doesn't stop the fantasies, and the play is really fun.

Thanks for reading,

Jennifer

Role Reversal - Sort of

On Sunday, I asked my Lady if She would like to experience what She had given me the prior couple of weekends. She has been wanting to experience anal for a while, and I have been hesitant. It's not fair to Her and I am disappointed in myself to failing Her in this way. The difficulty for me is that I perceive the act to be dominant, and my erection fades at the thought. Enter the strap-on. There's no reason I can't wear the thing and give it to Her the way She did me. Well, not quite the same. She fucked me good and hard, and it was clear to me that She enjoyed the dominant role, taking my ass and making me Hers. Me too. The act of Her fucking me also brings Her physical stimulation, rubbing the harness against Her beautiful and engorged Clitoris.

There is no direct equivalent in my case. My use of the strap-on with Her would be as a tool (literally and figuratively) to bring her pleasure. There would be no direct involvement of my actual penis. We kept it locked away in its 3D printed cage. It's a real turn-on for me to be locked and wearing a fake cock for Her to enjoy. It's a game though, because She tells me quite often that my real thing is Her favorite. I have to agree; my cock is warm, firm, and large and it fits perfectly inside Her. We both love it immensely.

I warmed Her up by orally worshiping Her back there for a good long time. There are so many nerve endings in that area, and I know from experience how good it feels. After that, I put some coconut oil on my fingers and alternately inserted my index and middle fingers, slowly helping Her get accustomed to it, and then I used both fingers at the same time. She told me afterward that feeling my knuckles inside Her made Her think that the strap-on would hurt. Not knowing that at the time, I asked if She was ready, and with Her assent I lubed up the pink phallus protruding from the harness, and slowly began inserting it, paying close attention to Her expression and asking how it felt. It turned out that the cock was much more comfortable for Her than my fingers had been. I held still at Her direction, and began to thrust gently when She was ready. We continued in that way, and She started masturbating while I fucked Her. She came intensely and I was extremely pleased.

We cuddled for a bit, and then cleaned up. I remained caged the entire time. I loved the fact that I could focus 100% on Her pleasure. It's unlikely to become the norm, however. As I said, my Lady loves having my cock free for her to suck and fuck. Who am I to argue? 

Thanks for reading.

Jennifer

Starting a New Life Together

A lot more has been going on in our lives for the past ten months or so, beyond what were already very busy lives we've been leading.  Consequently, I've not had the time to post anything meaningful here, I didn't feel the desire or need to post an "I'm still here" message.  So, here I am, with a bit of time on my hands, and thought it'd be good to write something that I hope the reader will find mildly interesting.

My Lady and I recently got married. So, I am now officially Her husband, and She is my Wife. I will continue to call her my Lady here. I've also decided to honor Her more by capitalizing Her pronouns, and I'll do my best to be consistent in that regard. We are under one roof, and although there remains a bit a chaos associated with assimilating two households worth of belongings into one, the stress is orders of magnitude lower than it has been. Anyway, this is not a Better Homes and Gardens blog, so I'll get to the point and talk about our sex life. 

In short, it's fantastic, and getting better. I know I've posted about my submissiveness, and my feminine side. My Lady loves all of me, as She has reminded me repeatedly, and She is exploring the boundaries of our dynamic, and seems to be comfortable taking on a more dominant role. For example, she has gotten more verbal during our love-making. She likes to tell me that I'm going to worship Her Pussy. Which of course I love doing. I also often ask if I may worship Her Pussy. She sits on my face and smiles as She looks down at me while I minister to Her. I love making eye contact while doing so; it makes me feel even more submissive and under Her spell. Her Pussy is divine. I could spend hours licking, sucking and drinking Her in. 

She sometimes releases Her Wine while I am orally worshiping Her. At first it was inadvertent, and She was uncomfortable when She realized what had happened. I assured Her that it was more than fine, that I actually enjoy it. It has happened a few times since, and I'm not sure it has been accidental. She is definitely less inhibited about it. I suppose I enjoy Her Wine for several reasons. First, it is a truly submissive act, and as such it really turns me on; like She's marking Her territory. Second, knowing that I've pleased Her so intensely that She lost a bit of control makes me very happy. Third, I like the taste and the feeling of Her wetness in my mouth and on my face and neck.

My Lady has also effectively taken control of my orgasms, deciding when I may and may not come.  She'll often, as She did this morning, simply tell me that I'm not allowed to cum. My orgasms are less frequent than Hers, probably by a ratio of 3 or 4 to 1. I like it that way. I love the focusing being on Her pleasure; my pleasure derives from Hers. I feel like I'm a more attentive lover, husband, and partner when I have fewer climaxes, because I don't go through that letdown period after. I would be completely supportive of having even fewer orgasms, but that will be Her call. She still likes when I climax, and she likes the taste of my semen. I've also taken to wearing my chastity cages again, with Her support and encouragement. My hope is that one day She'll decide that for me as well, when I am required to be caged and when I am permitted to be free. It feels good to wear a cage, and I think it will feel even better knowing that I have little or no say in the matter. 

Before our wedding, my Lady told me that the marriage would not be truly consummated until She fucked me. I totally agreed. We did also consummate in the more traditional sense, and of course we both really love standard PIV intercourse. Physically, we fit very well together. She loves sucking my cock and feeling it inside Her. I think it feels amazing. But the idea of Her fucking gets me going. On our honeymoon, we went to an adult toy store and bought a strap-on and rather substantial pink phallus. She fucked me good and proper with it, and last week She did so again, and I masturbated while She fucked me hard. I also sucked on a fake cock while She egged me on, saying lots of hot and nasty things to me, like how She loves fucking me, and how hot I look sucking cock. I came a lot, all over my abdomen. She licked some up, scooped up some more and fed it too me, and then She used some of the remaining come to rub Her clitoris while riding my still hard cock. This afternoon, we repeated the scene, and it was even more pleasurable for both of us. 

I notice a definite correlation between my libido and my desires for femininity and crossdressing. Over the prior months when we were both stressed about a lot of things, my desire for sex diminished, and with it went my habit of wearing ladies clothes. Lately, the desire for lingerie, panties, and other attire has started to come back. It's something my Lady and I have discussed a lot, and She is amazingly supportive. Still, I am trying to be very sensitive to Her, and trying to be sure that it does not grow out of proportion or interfere with the rest of our relationship.

Thanks for reading,

Jennifer

Making the Most of a Small Window

This weekend, my lady and I had only a small window for private time. We made the most of it. It had been a long and busy week, filled with work, family obligations and a few concerts. All of the time I spent with her was grand, but there wasn't enough naked time for our liking.  Saturday afternoon, we finally had our "quality" time. She secured me to the bed and teased me, biting my nipples, rubbing her body across mine, and whispering erotic thoughts into my brain. I fell quickly and deeply into a submissive state. She alternately mounted and sucked my cock, teasing me about how good her juices taste on my cock. I yearned for my chance to taste her, as I cannot get enough of her beautiful, sexy delicious pussy.  She licked my shaft and said, "mmmm, so good," while smiling at me as I lay there, helpless.

Finally, she moved up and mounted my face. I worshipped her for a short while (it's never long enough) and then she went back to teasing me some more. After a bit she got up to pee, and I asked her if she'd please not wipe completely, because I wanted to taste her enhanced wetness. You may recall some time ago (I think I wrote about it) that my lady once inadvertently released some pee while I was worshipping her pussy, and while I enjoyed the experience immensely, she was a bit embarrassed by it. I thought this might be a way to reinforce that I really did enjoy it, and make her feel comfortable. My lady heeded my request, and when she remounted my face, I thought I would lose my mind with lust. Her taste was much as it was previously, but with a saltier edge to it. The actual flavor and the knowledge of what it was made my untouched cock grow, swell and become hard as granite. 

My lady loves to 69 with me while I worship her pussy, because she likes to suck my cock as well.  I think it's our favorite position overall, and one that she very often climaxes in. I get to watch her spasm when she does, and I love that. Another favorite position of mine is when she mounts my face facing the headboard. It enhances my submissive feelings, both due to the focus solely on her pleasure, and the power exchange that comes with eye contact in that situation.

We ended the session in a 69, and my lady had a powerful and long-lasting orgasm. There was no discussion of me having an orgasm. I appreciate that, and take it as a sign of her growing understanding of me and confidence in herself. 

Thanks for reading.

Jen.

Relaxation in the Sun

We've been working. A lot. We've found time to be intimate, but not as much as we'd have liked. Not as much as we needed. Now, we're a third of the way into a twelve day vacation on a warm, sunny island.  We have a "two-foot" rule, meaning we try to be in each others' company at nearly all times, as much as practical. Like gravitational attraction, our desires grow with the inverse square of our distance. We've had fabulous meals and lots of great times in the water. And we've had a lot of quality naked time. We've made love at least once per day, and my lady has experienced thundering orgasms in most of them. For the last two evenings, the activities of the day and alcohol consumed with dinner have tempered our activities, but the evening intimacy has only served to build the anticipation for the subsequent morning. 

I love everything about our sex life. My lady cums much more often than I do. I am very happy for that. I prefer her orgasms to my own. As a submissive, my greatest pleasure is in serving, pleasuring, and honoring my lady. It would take many blogs to unpack all the reasons, and I won't be doing that now, if ever. I yam what I yam, as Popeye said. I also prefer the feeling of denial, delay and elevated state of arousal that comes with not cumming for a while. It lingers throughout the day and makes me feel more energized and alive.

Yesterday morning, after bringing her to climax, she began to get ready for an outing we'd planned. I was lying in bed, my cock slowly returning from its erect state to a flaccid one without having cum. I watched her brushing her hair, and the feeling of love that I have for her just washed over my like a rogue wave. I cried, quietly, thinking about how fortunate I am have found this beautiful, amazing, kind, caring, accepting, and sexually adventurous woman. She is the love of my life; more than I ever dreamed of or dared to hope for. 

This morning, I'm up early. I'll shower soon, start the coffee, shower, shave, and put on some sexy lingerie that she hasn't seen yet. I plan to worship her body and bring her pleasure for as long as she likes. She'll orgasm, almost certainly. I might. 

I've told her that one of my fantasies is to climax inside her and then orally worship her again, consuming the mixture of our excitement. She, love of my life that she is, wants to fulfill that fantasy. It requires several specific things to happen, and in order. First, we intend for her to be on top, so that once I cum, she can move up my body and place her wet, cum-filled pussy onto my mouth. Thus, I must be able to climax in that position, which is a rare event. I normally climax in the standard missionary position, where I can thrust vigorously. She loves that by the way. I'm larger than average in the penis department, and we fit together very well. We both enjoy when I'm on top and fucking her hard. So if the need arises for me to orgasm, that's usually how it happens.

Next, I will have to come first, because my lady's lady parts get very sensitive after she orgasms, so oral homage after she comes is not really in the cards. I'm not used to coming first, and it's sort of against my submissive impulses. This is doable, physically, and she's very supportive. I just have to convince my submissive self that it's ok to do it.

Last, I have to not lose the urge to go down on her after my own orgasm passes, and my desires crash. There are a lot of things I'd do in the state of sexual arousal that are more challenging to do after. Consuming cum is one of those. Yes, I've done that. Before I met my lady, I experimented with various solo methods of sexual pleasure, including consuming my semen. I found that if I came in my hand, I could take it in my mouth almost immediately, before sexually crashing. I also found if I came in a glass, I could save it in the freezer for next time, and then consume that prior ejaculation while arousing myself for the next one. I also found that if I waited even a minute after coming, I lost all desire to swallow my own semen, and would just wash my hands instead. 

I have an idea about how we might accomplish all of the above. First, the longer I am delayed in climaxing, the more likely I will be able to come with my lady on top, and also be able to come first. It's been over a week for me at this point. Second, if I have a "ruined" orgasm, then my state of arousal won't diminish as quickly, and I should be able to maintain my desire to follow through.

You probably know what a ruined orgasm is if you read blogs like mine, but if you don't, here's a good description: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a28539248/ruined-orgasm-bdsm/

The technique is to basically stop all physical stimulation shortly before the point of no return where, the contractions have started and you pretty much cannot prevent ejaculation. However, by removing the ongoing stimulation, timed just right, the physical release happens without the accompanying flood of endorphins. Thus, the sexual tension remains. 

It's ok if this doesn't happen soon. Maybe it'll take some work to build to it. Maybe we should practice with a ruined orgasm first, brought on manually onto my belly. She could then play with my cum as she likes, and we can go from there.

Whatever we do, I'm sure it'll be fun and exciting. 

Thanks for reading.

Jen