Chastity Thoughts

Since the start of the year, I've been working towards being in chastity whenever I'm not with my lady.  It's been a bit on and off, but since Monday, except for my morning shower and cleaning, I've been locked up nearly 100% of the time that I wasn't with her or about to be.  Day time lock up isn't that difficult.  I do find that it helps me avoid masturbating, even though I have the key readily available.  It's much more of a pre-mediated event to unlock myself before self-pleasuring.  That extra step is enough to help me abstain.

I suppose my purposes for doing are (1) to save myself for her, (2) to maintain that certain arousal buzz that goes along with wearing a device, and (3) feed my submissive urges.

Throughout the week, I've worn the device while in the hot tub, while running on my treadmill, and while working out on my home gym.  I wear it when I go out (which is rare these days), and all night.  Nights are definitely the most challenging.  The first few nights, I sort of tossed and turned, but since then I'm pretty used to it, until the morning erection comes along.  That's still a challenge.  It's uncomfortable but not painful.  Urinating while semi-erect and caged is definitely an event.  It takes a while, and requires a folded piece of toilet paper stuffed into the end of my HT device to capture the residual leakage.

I think I'll continue this for a while, and see how it affects my performance with my lady.  I'm hopeful that saving myself for her has a positive effect.  I'm mindful of some who report difficulty in obtaining erections, or even shrinkage after wearing a cage for extended periods.

Thanks for reading.

Jennifer

A New Year and New Opportunities

I suppose nearly all of us are glad to see 2020 in the rear view mirror.  I certainly am.

I am so very sorry for the losses and suffering the pandemic has caused.  For so many who lost loved ones or suffered from COVID-19 effects, my heart aches.  I am eternally grateful to all who have done their jobs, in healthcare particularly, but also in grocery stores, mail delivery, pharmacies and other lines of work that we have learned all too well are essential to the functioning of our society.

I must confess to being a lucky one.  Yes, my movements were restricted. Vacations, concerts, and other outings were forgone.  I continue to follow the medical experts' advice.  I wear a mask, wash my hands, limit social gatherings, and keep my distance when I have to venture out. I work from home. Those things are for me a mere nuisance. I have suffered no illness, no heartache, and no irreversible harm of any real sort as a result of the pandemic. I am fortunate and I know it. I have redoubled my efforts to provide what support I can (moral, financial, verbal) to people and places that have suffered.  I'd do more if I knew what that was.

But hey, this is a sex blog, so I must get on with the theme...

My lady and I started of the year with a bang.  Seriously.  We had the most amazing intimate moment this morning.  There really is nothing more that I love than bringing her pleasure.  I love her beyond measure, and I would do anything to make her happy.  She, like most of us I suppose, has had a difficult journey to the point in her life where we met. She is as madly in love with me as I am with her.  She characterized her orgasm as the most intense she'd ever had.  I am over the moon about that. BTW, we achieved that in a position that rhymes with "mighty fine" and is between 68 and 70.  It's a position I frankly never particularly enjoyed in previous relationships, but with her I find to be just fabulous.  It's  about the love, I think.  We are physically very compatible as well, so it's a comfortable arrangement with her on top controlling things.  Our love-making is whole body and mind. To be clear, performing oral sex on her is my hands-down favorite sexual act.  I'd forgo my own orgasm every time to bring her to one instead. She'll not stand for that though; she loves when I orgasm.

In the afterglow of our love-making, I revealed to her that I'd brought a few items of lingerie to perhaps enjoy, but we'd begun our festivities without them and I found neither opportunity nor need to introduce them.  I showed her what I brought, and also modelled a pair of pink panties with lace trim. She caressed my ass, and said she liked all of the items, and I am encouraged that she'll be happy to include them in some future love-making session. I'm glad we're taking it slowly, and I'm happy that our sex life is not centered on my crossdressing.  I don't want it to be. I want it to be about us, with props (clothing, vibrators, strap-ons, butt plugs, etc.) added as spices but not the main substance, and that's how it's been, and it's been awesome.

I really want to limit the times I orgasm while not with her, i.e. I want to minimize masturbating.  I feel like it is selfish. Although I can become erect easily at almost any time and provide her the PIV pleasure she loves, and also stimulate her orally to completion, she's made it clear to me, as I've stated, that she gains great satisfaction in inducing me to orgasm.  It's more difficult to do that if I've masturbated in the previous few days, and so I'd like to avoid that for her sake. Still, there are times when I've gone more than a week without masturbating, and not been able to orgasm when we make love, so there's more a play here than just my autoerotic stimulations.  Maybe a story for another day...

The challenge on the masturbatory front is that before I met her, Rosie Palm was my steady date.  I'm really good at masturbating.  I did it a lot.  I know what I like and what works at a particular moment.  Go figure. It's not easy to stop a long-time habit.  I'm up to the task, I think.  To address this challenge, I'm going to try to wear my Holy Trainer more often when I'm not around my love.  If I can keep my grubby mitts off my penis, then maybe I can keep from getting carried away. That's the premise.  I guess I'll let you know how it's working.  The HT feels nice, actually. It's comfortable, and a lot of times I forget I'm even wearing it.  Of course, it requires peeing sitting down, but I do that anyway, for several reasons, even if I'm unlocked.

So, what are the new opportunities I spoke of in the title of this message? Mine is first and foremost to find new ways to deepen my love for my lady.  Second, if it does not impede the first, to find the right level of crossdressing that fits within the love we have for each other.  I'm hopeful that she'll fully embrace my feminine side - signs are good thus far - but I'm prepared to limit what I do for my own selfish needs in order to maximize the pleasure I bring to her.  

Third, I hope that we can explore and incorporate more of my submissive nature into our relationship.  We've had a number of discussions about it, and she's learning what it means. She's not into giving pain, degradation, etc., and that's ok with me.  While I do confess that such activities can be a turn-on, I don't see it as a healthy behavior in a long-term relationship. I've recently been reading about sensual domination, and that direction may be a better path for the two of us. 

The thing that make our relationship magical is that she also wants my happiness as her top priority.  Did I mention that she's awesome?  She is. I'm confident that we will find a path that is mutually satisfying and builds us towards an ever deeper and longer lasting love.

Thanks for reading.

Jen