Chastity, Denial and Pegging

 As I write this post, I am approaching 21 days without an orgasm. By tomorrow I'll be in personal-best territory. It's been a challenging last couple of weeks for me, and not because of the above mentioned abstinence. I've been having difficulty sleeping, and for me that is foundational to my mood and my outlook. Consequently, all of the routine pressures that arise, at work or at home are magnified. I find the news in all its forms completely disheartening and a feeling of doom has threatened to overwhelm me.  My Lady has been very patient with me as I've tried various approaches to solving the problem. The fundamental solution has been to... wait for it... get more shut-eye.  And so I have been able to pay down the sleep deficit and my mood has improved. I still need a set of physical, behavioral and mental changes to enable me to sleep better, including more exercise, less alcohol, less news / social media, more reading of positive books, and perhaps meditation.  

And more sex. The other thing that suffered with my mood drop was our intimacy, which didn't disappear but was limited to weekends. She missed our close physical and emotional contact greatly while I was wallowing in misery. Having emerged from the funk, I know that I missed it as well, and the lack thereof compounded the overall dire outlook.  As I said, She was patient, and welcomed me back into Her loving arms.  That's why I've not been posting for the last few weeks.

I've been trying to use my chastity cages to stay locked and secure, but I have an issue with them. A certain medical treatment that I've undergone has resulted in the temporary reduction in the size of my testicles, and consequently they little fellas slip through the gap between cage and ring, rendering the device useless. It's been frustrating. I'm hopeful that the situation will resolve itself soon, because I miss the physical and psychological effect of being caged, and was looking forward to the day that my Lady and I would decide that it was time to formally hand over the keys. I am aware of other solutions besides ball-trapping devices, but not ready to go there at this time. As things stand now, I'm on the honor system, and while I do take liberties in terms of stroking my morning wood, I have been careful not to orgasm by self-stimulation.

My Lady and I discussed this, and She is not opposed to me masturbating sometimes, even to climax. I really prefer not to, though, because doing so would diminish my drive and take at least a few days to recover. I have encouraged Her to masturbate whenever She desires because her libido is greater and Her recovery time is much shorter. I recently bought Her a Lelo clitoral vibrator that I hope She'll learn to use and enjoy. I find the idea of Her having unlimited orgasms while She restricts mine to be highly erotic and physically practical.

We haven't had a session that I can recall over the past six weeks in which She hasn't pegged me. She's getting really good at it, and She assures me that She loves doing it. I think She is getting off on the power exchange, which of course is a major turn-on for me as well. Yesterday afternoon's session was perhaps the best so far. She stroked my cock in time with Her thrusting the Her strap-on cock into me, slowly rhythmically, while staring into my eyes and saying erotic things to me. We stopped before I came. It was amazing.  All this was after we first brought Her to a long-lasting, intense climax that was stoked by a long session of Her riding my cock followed by mutual oral, with Her on top of course. I really love when She comes on my face!  After resting for a bit, She tied me to the bed, stroked my cock, and fingered my ass until I begged Her to fuck me.

We have a special day coming up this Friday, and I asked Her to deny me until then. At first She had wanted me to climax yesterday while She fucked me, but then She changed Her mind and told me I had to wait. This morning, our wake-up cuddle time evolved into a climax-free fuck, where we both just really enjoyed the feeling of my cock inside Her until She decided to stop. Now we're on with our Monday morning, but with a much better outlook on life than I have had for a while. Afterall, my Lady is my whole world. Her love sustains me.  All of life's problems are invited to kindly go fuck-off and leave us alone.

Thanks for reading,

Jennifer

Making Our Own Fireworks

This Independence Day weekend brought lots of beautiful weather to our little neck of the woods, which we took advantage of it to spend some lovely outdoor time and celebrate the holiday with friends. We also had significant quality time in the boudoir. 

Leading up to and through the weekend, I spent nearly all of it with my cock locked in its 3D printed cage. I like the security of wearing the device, and the psychological effect of keeping myself chaste so that my Lady can have me at the top of my game when it pleases Her. The locking part was true from Wednesday onward. Having orgasmed twice last weekend, my desire for sex suffered diminution for a few days, and my routine of self-locking fell out as a result. By mid-week, things were perking up again, and back I went into the cage. So, it was really only about three days of non-stop chastity for me before the weekend festivities began on Saturday. 

I can lock and unlock at my discretion; the keys are available to me when I choose to use them. I don't know if that will remain true. It will be my Lady's decision if She wants to take away the key access and require me to ask Her for them. I purchased a small clear lock box and plastic locks in case She decides to keep one set for emergencies while hiding the set that She possesses. Also, in preparation for that possibility I've devised a method of showering that enables me to get a very good soapy rinse all around my groin area, so I'm confident that I can remain clean and healthy while locked. I can also shave a fair amount of the area, but complete shaving will definitely require removal at some interval. 

Saturday morning's session was filled with all the things I love: worshipping my Lady and all Her glorious parts, and receiving Her attention in return. It culminated in a lengthy and intense orgasm for Her, brought on ultimately by my oral homage. She really enjoys looking down upon me as I worship Her Pussy, and I love when we make and hold eye contact in those moments. She made it clear that I would not be climaxing that day, as we had the whole weekend and She wanted me ready, willing and able. So, back into the cage I went and we proceeded with our day.

Sunday turned out to be a busy day, with lots of preparations leading up to the social gathering and the fireworks display. We didn't have naked time together, but we spent the whole day being together doing all the other things that loving, married couples do. I so enjoy being in Her company, doing whatever we need to do, so it was still a great day. I know how She feels about me, and I know that She also loves our time together equally as much.

Monday there were more fireworks, but they were the indoor, private kind. I worshipped Her extensively, and She unlocked me to make use of my rigidness. She was planning to just tease for a while, and save Herself for an afternoon session, but things got going so well that She changed Her mind and again orgasmed on my face, this time in a sixty-nine position. I locked myself back up, and She told me that in the afternoon She was going to fuck me.

Fuck me She did, indeed. After preparing myself carefully, I started on the bed, caged, wearing a bralette and panties, cuffed and blindfolded, while She had Her way with me, teasing me and making me ache with desire. After a while, She freed me from the restraints, panties, blindfold and cage, and got off the bed to put on the harness and realistic strap-on cock. While She did that, I started to go a bit soft. Seeing that, She first had me suck Her cock, which I did with enthusiasm, and my hard-on returned in short order. She knew it would. Sucking Her fake cock is a real turn-on.

She then took me in a new way: on my back, my ass raised slightly by pillow and Her standing by the bed. It didn't take long to prepare me, as my ass is getting used to these penetrations. One finger and then two, and a short while later I was ready for Her cock. Not long after penetrating me, She started a rhythm, thrusting deep into me, really fucking me hard. It felt so good. I watched Her expression, and could see how much She was into getting into me. At one point, She said that She's going to need to fuck me with a bigger cock soon. We have a large black dildo that's probably ten inches long and quite thick. The thought of being able to take that beast really got me going and also frightens me a bit. I guess I'm a size queen. :-)

My Lady told me that I could climax, so while She continued to pound my ass I stroked my cock and sucked on the aforementioned black dildo. I came long and hard. It was the most intense orgasm I've had in quite some time. We both went to rinse things off, and I came back thinking we would complete the session by me helping Her climax again, but She was quite content to call and end to the session. She said, "it's ok for it to sometimes be all about you."  She is amazing. 

Unlike last week, I decided that I'd better lock myself up right away. My lady checked later while we were in the kitchen, and She was pleased that I'd done so. We ended the day on the sofa, Her feet in my lap while I massaged lotion into them and generally made Her feel good. 

What I take away from this weekend are these observations: First, our love for each other grows deeper by the day, as we spend time doing everything that we do together. Second, I'm confident that She really loves what we're doing in the bedroom, and that is an essential element. It would ruin things for me if She was just doing it for my benefit. Third, the more She fucks me, the deeper I fall into the submissive role in our marriage. It's difficult for me to act any other way during a given day when I know that I'm going to get fucked good and proper later on. The anticipation hangs in the air, and affects my attitude in a very positive way for that strengthens my respect and love for Her. 

Being the submissive doesn't mean waiting around to be told what to do all the time, or having no say in anything. To me, it comes down to this. I judge my actions each day by a simple test: Is what I'm doing make life better for my Lady? If yes, then I try do it. If no, then I try to avoid it. It means She spends Her time doing what She likes to do, and I spend my time doing what She delegates to me, doing what I see or think of that needs doing, and finding creative ways to serve Her in a manner that She doesn't expect. I don't profess perfection in this regard; I'm a work in progress. But I profess my boundless love for Her, and have dedicated my life to pleasing Her in every way that I can. I have married the perfect Woman for me, and I've never been happier nor more content in my life.

Thanks for reading.

Jennifer