My lady is awesome. I love her more deeply than I previously understood possible.
I will recount some of the things I love about her, but inevitably I will neglect some important facet, because there are more aspects to her magnificence than my mind can retain at any given time. Let me offer a short story about her.
As near as I can tell, my lady never really had a male figure in her life who treated her well. I shall not recount the details, but neither her father, nor her ex-husbands gave her the respect and love that she deserves. Her exes had issues. I'll leave it at that. Still, she was able to separate their shortcomings from her own image of self-worth to a large degree. She is intelligent, ethical and strong. Not to mention beautiful, funny and so very sexy.
In spite of all that has been thrown her way, and yes, the choices she has made that didn't work out, my lady has been steadfast in her values. Her moral compass has never drifted. She tolerated unacceptable behavior, but only until she reached the decision that there was no longer the possibility of favorable resolution. She raised wonderful children without the support of a good husband, and for that alone she deserves a Medal of Honor.
You might imagine that, having had that history with men, when we started seeing each other her signal flares might have gone off. Danger, danger, Will Robinson... I disclosed as early as I could reasonably do so the "fatal flaws" that I felt that I carried, namely:
- Divorced
- Had an affair
- Crossdresser
I have made many mistakes in my life. I shall not be defined by them. I have learned from them, and have grown substantially as a human as a result of them. Among my my mistakes was marrying a young lady (when I was a young man) with whom I could not communicate and from whom I grew apart. Having an affair was another one - a big one. I rationalized it, of course, but there's no defending it. All I can to is own up to it, learn from it and move on.
So, yeah, that's not a list of attributes a lady looks for in her man. It screams, "run for the hills!!!" Particularly after the prior experiences she's had. It reminds me of this exchange in "As Good As It Gets"
CAROL
Why can't I have a normal boyfriend??? Why? Just a regular boyfriend who doesn't go nuts on me...
BEVERLY
(butting in)
Everybody wants that, dear -- it doesn't exist...
That's definitely how I have felt - not normal. And I'm quite aware that I'm No. 3 of 3 in that regard in terms of the men who've lined up for her affections.
Except for two things. First, I love and respect her immeasurably. That makes me different than her prior men. Second, my lady makes me feel normal. Actually, she makes me feel exceptional. She makes me feel justified being who I am, how I am, and what I am. She sees the goodness in me (yes, I have good traits, too). She loves me for those traits, and she is learning to accept, and, dare I say, embrace my other "non-traditional" characteristics.
These past weekend was a long and glorious one. I had painted my toenails during the week, and as the weekend approached, chose not to remove the polish. My lady has been aware of my penchant for this, and has seen the evidence; I don't always do a great job removing all remnants. I left my socks on when she arrived, and explained why, emphasizing that I didn't want to push her out of her comfort zone. She smiled and said that she wanted to see them, so off came the socks and another step was taken. She complimented me on the job I did and said I looked sexy. What an amazing woman. Have I said that already?
We had a lot of sex this weekend. I cannot recount the events in sequence or in full detail. Frankly, I was too caught up in being with her to spend time committing it all to memory or writing it down. I remember vignettes, and I definitely remember feelings. I spent quite a bit of time, to my extreme pleasure, worshipping her pussy. I love everything about it, the taste, the feeling, the aroma, and most of all, how it makes her feel. I'm good at it, this I know. I told her that I'd love for her to grab hold of my head and just rub her pussy all over my face, using me to climax, and leaving my face a wet, hot mess that I'd leave unwashed for the rest of the day. We did that. Actually, I got a bit eager and did some of the moving myself. This surprised her, and she released maybe a half cup of pee into my mouth and onto my face, drenching me. It was warm and salty and I loved it. She didn't know that she'd done it until I told her. She was embarrassed and apologetic, until she saw how absolutely rock hard my cock had become. I wore her scent for hours. I could smell her and feel her on my skin after it dried. I felt possessed by her, marked and defined as hers, and I reveled in the feeling. I can't wait to repeat it.
She told me that I wasn't allowed to cum on Saturday, that she was going to tease me and then on Sunday she was going to fuck me with her purple strapless dildo. She had come maybe three times by this point in the weekend, and I was clearing the seven day mark since my last orgasm. I wore the cage a lot, including at a party we went to later. However, being with her, or even thinking of her when we were apart kept me engorged, and I was a bit concerned about continued confinement in that condition, so I freed myself later that evening. A damaged penis is not good for either of us.
On Sunday morning, we had a cuddle session that turned X-rated. She rode my cock and I worshipped her pussy. She whispered how she was going to fuck me and make me hers. I fell deeper into sub-space, and begged her to take me in that way. For the afternoon session, I spent time preparing myself to be the recipient. I still don't have the best procedure, I think, but I was successful in ensuring that I was clean back there. I went to her room (soon to be our room) while she tended to other things. I secured the restraints to my limbs, and my legs and right arm to the bed straps. When she came into the room, I was wearing a chemise, bunched up to my stomach, slowly masturbating with my free hand, and my cock was rock hard. This turned her on quite a bit. She likes watching me masturbate, and having her watch me is a real turn-on.
As I believe I've mentioned previously, I have a pretty large cock. It measures between 7.5 and 8.0 inches and is proportionally thick. That is unusual in the general population, from the research I've done, and anecdotally even more rare among submissive, crossdressing males. My lady loves my cock, and the feeling is mutual. She loves to suck it, kiss it and tease it. I love watching her, and the feeling of her mouth on my cock is wonderful. We both love when I'm inside her. This is one of the many ways that we fit perfectly together. My lady had her way with me in these regards, and then she released my leg restraints to gain access to my rear opening. Some tongue action, followed by a lubricated finger got me ready. She started with the pink strap-on, which is a bit smaller. My back door has some work to do in order to accommodate larger objects, but we're working towards that. She had me suck her pink cock for a while before getting into position. I think we both like when she watches me do that. I looked at the combined scene and was struck by how unusual and incredibly erotic it was. My chemise, her beautiful, naked, sexy body poised to mount me, the strap-on harness, the pink dildo, my shaved legs, the restraints on my ankles, and my painted toenails. She entered me carefully, giving me time to adjust to the invader. She started moving in me, and we kissed. I looked into her smoky, eyes and was lost in her beauty.
After loosening me up, she switched over to the strapless one. It's going to take some practice to get the technique down so that it gives her the pleasure we seek for her while she fucks me. We stopped after a while, but made good progress. I want for us both to be able to orgasm when she fucks me. I long for the time when we're living together and she'll say, out of the blue, "go get yourself ready, I'm going to fuck you." Ooooh.
She did orgasm, using a combination of my mouth, my cock and her nimble fingers. It was a good one, based on my eye-witness account. She decided that she wanted me to come, and I ended up masturbating while she watched.
On Monday, we had more quality time in the morning as a prelude to a more intimate afternoon session. I had suggested that we spend part of the day taking a hike. To be honest, I was looking forward to that as a highlight of the day. I love being with her in all places, and doing all things. As it turned out, after taking care of things at our respective houses, when I returned to her place, my lady announced that we would not be hiking that day. Initially, I was crestfallen. She explained the timeline we had for the remaining part of the day, and determined that there wasn't time for the hike. I didn't argue, but I did express that I was a little disappointed. There are a few takeaways from this interaction. First, I quickly realized that if I truly meant what I said to her numerous times, i.e. "I'll do anything for you," then that includes abiding by her decision when it's not up for debate. This was one of those cases, and I took comfort in being able to follow her lead without drama. Second, it was really hot outside, so a hike at that time of day would have been somewhat miserable. I was happy that she made the decision and that I accepted it. That would have been true even if it had turned out that we did have time. But she was correct. By the time we did the other necessary things, we'd have been left with the choice of a hike or time in the bedroom. Duh.
Our bedroom time focus was on anal again, but this time she was the recipient. She likes it a lot, and we will be doing more of that. I followed her pattern from the day before, staring with my tongue, then my fingers and finally the pink dildo in the strap-on. She's not ready to accommodate my cock, yet. She wanted to repeat the double penetration scene we did once, but I'm having trouble keeping my cock hard and ready to play in that situation. We used the realistic cock as the second player for her pussy, and she came quite hard that way. We closed out the session with her stroking me for a good long while, until her arm got tired. I loved how it felt, and she's learning how to work me, but we have some more practicing to do. I took over for her, and she whispered into my ear. When she told me how she's going to fuck me regularly, I climaxed intensely. She smiled.
I love this woman, more than words can express.
Thanks for reading.
Jen
