Carl Enters

Disclaimer: The title of this post is deliberately misleading and also a double entendre.  

My lady and I have been loving life, traveling, doing holidays and other vanilla life things in addition to our continued sexual escapades, and these are the excuses I'm using for the long gap in my posts.

The new year has brought on an opportunity for thoughts about how to deepen all aspects of our relationship, and we are taking advantage.  I'll limit this scope in this post to sex-related developments, for the reader's sake (you're welcome).

My lady has really taken to pegging me, and we do it quite regularly now. We've moved up in size from the smallest dildo, a brown one around 13 cm long to a pink one that's around 15 or 16 cm.  We have an array of other dildos, up to our largest one, which we've named Carl (in part because we don't know anyone by that name).

Carl is starting to play a more consistent role in our lovemaking. Carl is a long, rather thick ebony dildo. We decided to give him a name since he normally participates, and it's just easier to assign a name. My lady likes to suck Carl while I watch, because she knows it turns me on a lot. I think she also enjoys it for the thrill in and of itself. The other day she fucked herself with Carl while I watched, still constrained in the cock cage that I've been wearing since the start of the year (that'll be another post) it was really hot. She also likes to put Carl to my lips and watches as I suck him off, telling me that he's going to cum in my mouth. That also gets me going, particularly when my lady is pegging me at the same time. I suppose it would be difficult to argue that I'm hetero based on the above, but I am not attracted to men, and only think of cocks when I'm quite aroused, so if there's a word for that, maybe that's me.

The fantasy of having a large, strong, dominant black man participate in our lovemaking is something we explore frequently in our sessions. I know it might be viewed as either racist or stereotypical. I assure you that we are definitely not the former, and we are aware that the latter is true and I admit that is part of the thrill. The turn on for me has to do with color contrast and the lingering societal taboo of interracial sex (Western society has come a very long way in my lifetime regarding such things, but there is still a long way to go). Anyway, if we can enjoy this fantasy without impacting anyone else, we don't see the harm.  

And while it is just fantasy, I sometimes think that if the perfect circumstances were to present themselves, I would be open to making it a reality. Or not, I don't know if I really could go through with it. That said, the potential - real or imagined - adds fuel to my fire. I do not think my lady would take that step in any circumstance because, unlike me, her higher brain functions continue to work when she is aroused, but it excites me to pretend that she's going to want to do it for real one day.

Of course, moving from fantasy to reality is fraught with risk. In our fantasy, Carl has the psychological and physical traits we desire. He enters and exits at our whim, and he plays by our rules, and is healthy and clean. Of course in reality any third person would be less than physically perfect (as are we), but more importantly their feelings and desires would become a vital part of the equation, and the variability is largely unconstrained and somewhat unpredictable, even if we assume we did careful vetting. Who knows what dynamics might occur, positive or negative? Maybe we'd all get along great, maybe trouble would brew. Way too risky. So, fantasy it remains for now, and likely forever.

Thoughts on Pegging

My Lady has now fucked me every weekend for the last three, and this weekend She pegged me twice. The first was with the large pink phallus strapped to Her harness. It felt really good, but to be honest it's a big rigid and can be uncomfortable if the angle is slightly off. Not to say I didn't enjoy it. On the contrary, I enjoyed it very much. I masturbated while She fucked me, and sucked on a realistic dildo. She told me I was permitted to cum, and so I did, all over my belly.  She tasted my ejaculate, and then used it as a lubricant to stimulate Herself and climaxed while I sucked on Her Nipples. My cock deflated pretty quickly after my orgasm, so it wasn't much use to Her. She mentioned the fact afterward, and I told Her that it's one of the reasons that I prefer it when She climaxes first.

On Sunday, we tried the purple strapless dildo that is supposed to be retained by the part that She inserts in Her Pussy. Maybe it would work for a lesbian couple, but I think the resistance associated with the recipient receiving anal is too much; the other end just doesn't stay inside Her. Thinking we could fix that problem, I'd purchased a harness that allows Her end of the strap-on to fit inside Her and still have the business end be at a comfortable angle, with the added security of the harness to hold things in place. Well, the purple thing is really rigid, much more than the pink one, and after a few minutes we realized that it wasn't working. We decided to put it aside and try something else. We may return to it in the future. 

Enter the realistic cock. We actually have two that are pretty similar to each other, and they are like my own cock: 7.5 - 8.0" long, cut, and reasonably thick (mine's slightly thicker). The package says it's 9" long, but some of it is unusable (because of the balls, base, and where it mounts to the strap-on ring).  The fake cocks are made of those dual layer silicone that's more rigid inside with a softer exterior. She lubed up the cock and it slid quite easily into my ass. It felt really good. It was definitely the best fucking She's given me. Again, I sucked another dildo (a big black cock) and masturbated. She again gave me permission to cum, and it was another large one.

There are some things to contemplate surrounding this new dynamic.

First, My Lady really likes fucking me, and I like when She does. There's definitely a power exchange going on there. I feel more submissive to Her each time She does it, and it appears that She is gaining more comfort dominating me. She says nasty things to me, telling me that my ass is Hers, that She loves fucking me, and that She's going to fuck me a lot going forward. I'm looking forward to it. My submissive feelings last well after the event. I find myself even more attentive to Her, and I look for more ways to make Her life better.

Second, Her control of my orgasms is increasing. She pretty much decides when I climax and when I can be out of the cock cage. We went to dinner with friends over the weekend, and as we dressed, I asked if She wanted me caged. She said, "yes, the bathrooms there are private, so there's no reason not to." I'm better off when I'm caged and when I don't cum as often.  After climaxing twice this weekend, my libido took a hit, and I'm just now starting to regain it. I told Her about that, and She said, "maybe I need to limit your climaxes to every six months!"  If I'm serious about giving up control then the duration is Her decision. It might take a while to work up to that level of denial, frankly. I know She loves and cares for me greatly, so I trust Her to set the intervals to something that is good for both of us. She has allowed me to be out of the cage for a few days, but it's time to go back in; I can tell. I bought one of those lock boxes with the numbered plastic locks that can be put on it. We haven't used it yet, but at some point perhaps She will take Her set of keys and put them where I cannot access them, while locking the other set up for emergency use only.

Third, the fact that the last four times I've cum has been while She fucked me and I sucked a fake cock is not lost on either of us. I have never been attracted to men, but when I'm sexually aroused and feeling submissive, cocks are a definite turn-on. I'd call myself bisexual in those moments. We've had conversations about threesomes, and cuckolding. We've play-acted using the dildos (on Sunday, She egged me on as I fucked Her with the BBC and sucked Her Clitoris at the same time). My Lady feels strongly against actually allowing another man into our play, and I'm 100% supportive of Her position. She also has zero interest in another woman, so that's off the table as well. There's a tremendous amount of risk in adding a third person to a sexual relationship; it's just not something that is realistic, at least for the foreseeable future. Of course, that doesn't stop the fantasies, and the play is really fun.

Thanks for reading,

Jennifer

Yes, It's Definitely Working

I'm in a near constant state of arousal. It seems that my lady is learning to enjoy calling the shots on our sexual activities, and her acceptance of "all of me" has lifted an extraordinary burden from my mind. In addition, lately I've been in chastity almost constantly while awake, other than during shower time and after our little sessions each of the last two nights. I am still not able to sleep well while caged, at least not at this point, but it's ok.  I'm behaving myself.  "Hands off," she told me last night, when I departed her place. "Yes, ma'am," was my immediate reply. The feeling of being caged, knowing that she wears the keys on a chain around her neck, and knowing that I am abstaining as a sign of my devotion and love for her is a feeling that is difficult to describe; I'll use the word "sublime," I think for the first time in my life.  It seems to be a rather haughty word, but it fits.

On Wednesday, I spent the entire work day en femme.  I had recently purchased a pretty "Short Sleeve Floral Tiered Sheath Dress," black with purple flowers from JC Penney, and I was looking forward to wearing it.  I showered, shaved, put on my metal cage, and did my make-up. I'm not so great at make-up, but am getting better, and the process helps me transform into my feminine mindset. A bra, panties, my size C breast forms, platform heels, wig, jewelry and that dress completed the ritual. I guess I looked ok, but I felt really good.  Dressing that way helps alleviate a lot of the stress my job brings.

As the work day ended, I disrobed, removed my make-up, showered, and relocked myself, wearing male clothes, which is how my lady likes to see me.  I think it's too much for both of us at this stage for her to see me completely feminized. That day may come, but I'm happy to be for her what she wants me to be when we're together, and anyway I don't want to wear ladies clothes all the time. I truly like being able to switch between both modes.  It's sort of the best of both worlds.  Oh, and if the day does come for her to see me all decked out, it might be best if we started with me naked, and she helped me dress.  The process of helping, and the gradual transformation would likely be much easier on both of us.

After dinner at my place, she unveiled the purple lingerie she wore under her dress. We proceeded to enjoy a mid-week foray.  I stripped to just my panties and cage, knelt on the floor, and worshipped her body, focusing on her sumptuous lady parts as she sat comfortably on the sofa.  She was very wet and engorged. I was in heaven, and could have stayed there for hours, but she had other ideas. She bid me to fetch the largest dildo I have, a black cock that's probably nine or ten inches long and as thick as you'd expect such a creature to be. I did as directed, but also put on my own purple lingerie as a bonus. Returning to her beautifulness, I again knelt, and started rubbing the cock on her opening, which turned her on even more. I started to push it inside her, gently and slowly thrusting it deeper and deeper.  It needed a bit more wetness, so I licked the shaft as best I could, adding my saliva to her own moistness. I'll admit that it stoked my cuckold fantasies, watching that cock filling her, listening to her moans, facilitating the action with my own mouth. I sucked and licked her as best I could, occasionally adding more saliva to the dark beast that was ravishing her. My own cock, firmly ensconced in its metal cage, was straining for relief and attention, but we were focused on her. 

Being this aroused, I would have done anything that my lady wanted me to do. She decided that my real-life cock was what she wanted, so I uncaged and entered her. We continued in various arrangements. She eventually climaxed while using cock on her clitoris while I watched from below, almost in a trance, alternately looking into her beautiful, smoky eyes and watching her ministrations.  The memory of that scene will remain a long time, and it causes swelling inside my cage. We cuddled after, while my own cock returned to a flaccid state. No climax for me, not until she says it's time. She also told me, clearly, that she has no interest in actually having a third person participate in our love-making. I think that's the right call. We love each other so deeply, we have so much to explore together, and she is all I will ever need. I am hers, always and forever, and I have never been happier.

Thanks for reading.

Jen

A Double Barrel, of Sorts

This weekend, my lady and I had a new adventure.  We'd been busy all week (as usual), and really motivated to have some good quality time together.  She whispered in my ear on Friday, "you'd better rest up tonight, because I have big plans for you tomorrow."  I did not need to hear that twice.  On Saturday morning, I received further instructions, and taking the initiative to fulfill the explicit ones, but also carry out the spirit of her commands, I proceeded to the bedroom.  

I cleansed myself inside and out, and I took a razor to my entire body.  The only hair I have is on my eyebrows (trimmed) and head (short); I am bare everywhere else.  Post shower, I inserted the largest of my butt plugs, locked myself in my pink Holy Trainer, and wore a pair of pink Vanity Fair Illumination bikini panties.  She loves me in pink, what can I say?  I fastened the bondage straps near the head and foot of the bed, and placed the cuffs on my ankle and wrists.  I then padded downstairs to fetch two wine glasses and a bottle of Pinot Noir, as per her instruction.  

As she announced via text her impending arrival, I finished the preparation with a surprise for her, sliding a dildo harness on, and then latching my ankles and one wrist to the straps.  Oh, the harness held a life-like cock, one of those double-silicone types that is firm but flexible, the same length as mine, and almost as large around. I'm happily endowed with a cock one may not normally associate with a submissive, feminine-feeling and crossdressing sissy. But there you have it. I am as I am, and I try not to bother pondering why.  I pulled the sheet over my body, placed a blindfold over my eyes, and waited.  

I heard her arrive, and ascend the stairs.  Pulling back the covers, she touched the cock (I could feel it move against the harness). "My, my, what have we here," she declared. I said to her, "if you're not comfortable with this, we don't have to have it." Well, trust me, she was comfortable with it.  She removed my blindfold, revealing a sexy lavender teddy that showed off her beautiful, womanly curves. She rubbed her moist pussy and traced her finger across my lips.  She then started stroking the cock. She kissed the head of the cock, and then started sucking on it, locking eyes with me as she did. I was watching her suck cock, right where my cock usually is, but I couldn't feel it (of course). 

The mixed messages that my brain tried to reconcile sent me into a sexual frenzy. It was one of the most erotic events I've ever seen.  What I felt was a combination of excitement from multiple fantasies rolled into one: chastity, submission, feminization, cuckolding.  My actual cock was straining to break free of its confines, but that would have to wait. She moved up and sat on my mouth, so that I could savor her taste, see how wet she was, and feel her magnificently engorged clitoris on my lips and tongue. I could worship her pussy for hours, but alas I was only permitted a minute or two. She then moved down and rubbed the cock all over her pussy, getting it wet. I watched in awe and excitement as she took her new friend into her pussy, as our eyes stayed locked on each other. She rode the cock, and presented her beautiful nipples for me to worship. I met her movements with thrusts of my own, again with my brain expecting but not receiving the normal coordinated signals from my several senses. 

She could have come that way. She got close, and it didn't take long. But she didn't want to. We had a lot of time and a lot more fun to have. She did eventually free my various parts from their various restraints, and we concluded the session quite satisfactorily for both of us.  

We cuddled, cooed, and dozed afterward, having re-expressed our deep and abiding love for each other.  This magical moment was made possible by love, trust, communication, and adventurous spirit.  She is awesome, and I love her more every day. Not just for what I write about here, but for a long, long list of other reasons.  I am very fortunate.

Thanks for reading.

Jen