Special Wednesday

My lady and I had a great day yesterday.  We were both off from work, and so we slept in (relatively speaking) and enjoyed our coffee together. Next, we got ourselves down to the basement for a workout (bike for her, treadmill for me), followed by showering, which left us refreshed and ready for love-making.

I dressed in a purple bralette and panty set, covered by a purple chemise. I was also locked as usual in my 3D printed cage, which is the most comfortable one I own. She wore a somewhat matching bra and panty set, except hers accentuated rather than covered her breasts. She looked magnificent. 

She asked how we're doing on the orgasm ratio, and I told her that we were just barely above 3:1, pretty well below the target of 5:1 that she set, but I reminded her that the goals are there for me to follow and for her to change or deviate from whenever she feels like it. There's not much point in being the dominant partner if you can't just change the rules on a whim, is there?  

We next enjoyed a lengthy session of pussy worship. Methinks I could do that for hours. She unlocked me and proceeded to suck my cock; something she rather loves doing and I would not dream of denying her that pleasure, notwithstanding how much I enjoy it as well. I've mentioned previously that I'm above average in size, about 20 cm (8 in) in length and proportionally thick. My lady has determined that she enjoys taking me all the way into her throat, which is simply amazing on multiple fronts. She gets turned on from doing that, particularly when I am playing with her nipples at the same time. It is the most incredible feeling. She also rode me for a while, and then whispered in my ear that she was going to fuck me.

And so she did. We moved up to a realistic cock that is just marginally shorter than mine, and also slightly less thick. It has an advantage over the pink one we've been using because, even though it's bigger, it is more flexible. She entered me easily after some fingering, and lots of lube. They tell you that anal play requires lots of lube. I can confirm that it makes all the difference. It was easily the most enjoyable fuck she's given me.  While she did so, I sucked on Carl (our large black dildo) and  masturbated. My lady had a vibrating butt plug in her ass, and somehow managed to lodge another dildo in her pussy, held in place by the strap-on harness. We basically had all of our holes filled, except her mouth, which she took advantage of to say lots of dirty things!  

The situation got me fantasizing about Carl being a real guy, inviting us to his place for a party, only to discover that my lady and I were the entertainment for him and several of his friends, which made me rock hard. (Maybe I'll detail out that fantasy in an upcoming post). My lady gave me permission to cum, and so I did. She used my semen to lubricate her clitoris, and came shortly after I did. We cuddled for a while, and just enjoyed being together.

We had lunch, took naps, did some housekeeping, made dinner together, ate, watched some TV and then retired for the night. It was a great day, as I said in the beginning. I love my wife and I love our life. I am a very fortunate person.

Thanks for reading.

Jennifer

Carl Enters

Disclaimer: The title of this post is deliberately misleading and also a double entendre.  

My lady and I have been loving life, traveling, doing holidays and other vanilla life things in addition to our continued sexual escapades, and these are the excuses I'm using for the long gap in my posts.

The new year has brought on an opportunity for thoughts about how to deepen all aspects of our relationship, and we are taking advantage.  I'll limit this scope in this post to sex-related developments, for the reader's sake (you're welcome).

My lady has really taken to pegging me, and we do it quite regularly now. We've moved up in size from the smallest dildo, a brown one around 13 cm long to a pink one that's around 15 or 16 cm.  We have an array of other dildos, up to our largest one, which we've named Carl (in part because we don't know anyone by that name).

Carl is starting to play a more consistent role in our lovemaking. Carl is a long, rather thick ebony dildo. We decided to give him a name since he normally participates, and it's just easier to assign a name. My lady likes to suck Carl while I watch, because she knows it turns me on a lot. I think she also enjoys it for the thrill in and of itself. The other day she fucked herself with Carl while I watched, still constrained in the cock cage that I've been wearing since the start of the year (that'll be another post) it was really hot. She also likes to put Carl to my lips and watches as I suck him off, telling me that he's going to cum in my mouth. That also gets me going, particularly when my lady is pegging me at the same time. I suppose it would be difficult to argue that I'm hetero based on the above, but I am not attracted to men, and only think of cocks when I'm quite aroused, so if there's a word for that, maybe that's me.

The fantasy of having a large, strong, dominant black man participate in our lovemaking is something we explore frequently in our sessions. I know it might be viewed as either racist or stereotypical. I assure you that we are definitely not the former, and we are aware that the latter is true and I admit that is part of the thrill. The turn on for me has to do with color contrast and the lingering societal taboo of interracial sex (Western society has come a very long way in my lifetime regarding such things, but there is still a long way to go). Anyway, if we can enjoy this fantasy without impacting anyone else, we don't see the harm.  

And while it is just fantasy, I sometimes think that if the perfect circumstances were to present themselves, I would be open to making it a reality. Or not, I don't know if I really could go through with it. That said, the potential - real or imagined - adds fuel to my fire. I do not think my lady would take that step in any circumstance because, unlike me, her higher brain functions continue to work when she is aroused, but it excites me to pretend that she's going to want to do it for real one day.

Of course, moving from fantasy to reality is fraught with risk. In our fantasy, Carl has the psychological and physical traits we desire. He enters and exits at our whim, and he plays by our rules, and is healthy and clean. Of course in reality any third person would be less than physically perfect (as are we), but more importantly their feelings and desires would become a vital part of the equation, and the variability is largely unconstrained and somewhat unpredictable, even if we assume we did careful vetting. Who knows what dynamics might occur, positive or negative? Maybe we'd all get along great, maybe trouble would brew. Way too risky. So, fantasy it remains for now, and likely forever.

Thoughts on Pegging

My Lady has now fucked me every weekend for the last three, and this weekend She pegged me twice. The first was with the large pink phallus strapped to Her harness. It felt really good, but to be honest it's a big rigid and can be uncomfortable if the angle is slightly off. Not to say I didn't enjoy it. On the contrary, I enjoyed it very much. I masturbated while She fucked me, and sucked on a realistic dildo. She told me I was permitted to cum, and so I did, all over my belly.  She tasted my ejaculate, and then used it as a lubricant to stimulate Herself and climaxed while I sucked on Her Nipples. My cock deflated pretty quickly after my orgasm, so it wasn't much use to Her. She mentioned the fact afterward, and I told Her that it's one of the reasons that I prefer it when She climaxes first.

On Sunday, we tried the purple strapless dildo that is supposed to be retained by the part that She inserts in Her Pussy. Maybe it would work for a lesbian couple, but I think the resistance associated with the recipient receiving anal is too much; the other end just doesn't stay inside Her. Thinking we could fix that problem, I'd purchased a harness that allows Her end of the strap-on to fit inside Her and still have the business end be at a comfortable angle, with the added security of the harness to hold things in place. Well, the purple thing is really rigid, much more than the pink one, and after a few minutes we realized that it wasn't working. We decided to put it aside and try something else. We may return to it in the future. 

Enter the realistic cock. We actually have two that are pretty similar to each other, and they are like my own cock: 7.5 - 8.0" long, cut, and reasonably thick (mine's slightly thicker). The package says it's 9" long, but some of it is unusable (because of the balls, base, and where it mounts to the strap-on ring).  The fake cocks are made of those dual layer silicone that's more rigid inside with a softer exterior. She lubed up the cock and it slid quite easily into my ass. It felt really good. It was definitely the best fucking She's given me. Again, I sucked another dildo (a big black cock) and masturbated. She again gave me permission to cum, and it was another large one.

There are some things to contemplate surrounding this new dynamic.

First, My Lady really likes fucking me, and I like when She does. There's definitely a power exchange going on there. I feel more submissive to Her each time She does it, and it appears that She is gaining more comfort dominating me. She says nasty things to me, telling me that my ass is Hers, that She loves fucking me, and that She's going to fuck me a lot going forward. I'm looking forward to it. My submissive feelings last well after the event. I find myself even more attentive to Her, and I look for more ways to make Her life better.

Second, Her control of my orgasms is increasing. She pretty much decides when I climax and when I can be out of the cock cage. We went to dinner with friends over the weekend, and as we dressed, I asked if She wanted me caged. She said, "yes, the bathrooms there are private, so there's no reason not to." I'm better off when I'm caged and when I don't cum as often.  After climaxing twice this weekend, my libido took a hit, and I'm just now starting to regain it. I told Her about that, and She said, "maybe I need to limit your climaxes to every six months!"  If I'm serious about giving up control then the duration is Her decision. It might take a while to work up to that level of denial, frankly. I know She loves and cares for me greatly, so I trust Her to set the intervals to something that is good for both of us. She has allowed me to be out of the cage for a few days, but it's time to go back in; I can tell. I bought one of those lock boxes with the numbered plastic locks that can be put on it. We haven't used it yet, but at some point perhaps She will take Her set of keys and put them where I cannot access them, while locking the other set up for emergency use only.

Third, the fact that the last four times I've cum has been while She fucked me and I sucked a fake cock is not lost on either of us. I have never been attracted to men, but when I'm sexually aroused and feeling submissive, cocks are a definite turn-on. I'd call myself bisexual in those moments. We've had conversations about threesomes, and cuckolding. We've play-acted using the dildos (on Sunday, She egged me on as I fucked Her with the BBC and sucked Her Clitoris at the same time). My Lady feels strongly against actually allowing another man into our play, and I'm 100% supportive of Her position. She also has zero interest in another woman, so that's off the table as well. There's a tremendous amount of risk in adding a third person to a sexual relationship; it's just not something that is realistic, at least for the foreseeable future. Of course, that doesn't stop the fantasies, and the play is really fun.

Thanks for reading,

Jennifer

Starting a New Life Together

A lot more has been going on in our lives for the past ten months or so, beyond what were already very busy lives we've been leading.  Consequently, I've not had the time to post anything meaningful here, I didn't feel the desire or need to post an "I'm still here" message.  So, here I am, with a bit of time on my hands, and thought it'd be good to write something that I hope the reader will find mildly interesting.

My Lady and I recently got married. So, I am now officially Her husband, and She is my Wife. I will continue to call her my Lady here. I've also decided to honor Her more by capitalizing Her pronouns, and I'll do my best to be consistent in that regard. We are under one roof, and although there remains a bit a chaos associated with assimilating two households worth of belongings into one, the stress is orders of magnitude lower than it has been. Anyway, this is not a Better Homes and Gardens blog, so I'll get to the point and talk about our sex life. 

In short, it's fantastic, and getting better. I know I've posted about my submissiveness, and my feminine side. My Lady loves all of me, as She has reminded me repeatedly, and She is exploring the boundaries of our dynamic, and seems to be comfortable taking on a more dominant role. For example, she has gotten more verbal during our love-making. She likes to tell me that I'm going to worship Her Pussy. Which of course I love doing. I also often ask if I may worship Her Pussy. She sits on my face and smiles as She looks down at me while I minister to Her. I love making eye contact while doing so; it makes me feel even more submissive and under Her spell. Her Pussy is divine. I could spend hours licking, sucking and drinking Her in. 

She sometimes releases Her Wine while I am orally worshiping Her. At first it was inadvertent, and She was uncomfortable when She realized what had happened. I assured Her that it was more than fine, that I actually enjoy it. It has happened a few times since, and I'm not sure it has been accidental. She is definitely less inhibited about it. I suppose I enjoy Her Wine for several reasons. First, it is a truly submissive act, and as such it really turns me on; like She's marking Her territory. Second, knowing that I've pleased Her so intensely that She lost a bit of control makes me very happy. Third, I like the taste and the feeling of Her wetness in my mouth and on my face and neck.

My Lady has also effectively taken control of my orgasms, deciding when I may and may not come.  She'll often, as She did this morning, simply tell me that I'm not allowed to cum. My orgasms are less frequent than Hers, probably by a ratio of 3 or 4 to 1. I like it that way. I love the focusing being on Her pleasure; my pleasure derives from Hers. I feel like I'm a more attentive lover, husband, and partner when I have fewer climaxes, because I don't go through that letdown period after. I would be completely supportive of having even fewer orgasms, but that will be Her call. She still likes when I climax, and she likes the taste of my semen. I've also taken to wearing my chastity cages again, with Her support and encouragement. My hope is that one day She'll decide that for me as well, when I am required to be caged and when I am permitted to be free. It feels good to wear a cage, and I think it will feel even better knowing that I have little or no say in the matter. 

Before our wedding, my Lady told me that the marriage would not be truly consummated until She fucked me. I totally agreed. We did also consummate in the more traditional sense, and of course we both really love standard PIV intercourse. Physically, we fit very well together. She loves sucking my cock and feeling it inside Her. I think it feels amazing. But the idea of Her fucking gets me going. On our honeymoon, we went to an adult toy store and bought a strap-on and rather substantial pink phallus. She fucked me good and proper with it, and last week She did so again, and I masturbated while She fucked me hard. I also sucked on a fake cock while She egged me on, saying lots of hot and nasty things to me, like how She loves fucking me, and how hot I look sucking cock. I came a lot, all over my abdomen. She licked some up, scooped up some more and fed it too me, and then She used some of the remaining come to rub Her clitoris while riding my still hard cock. This afternoon, we repeated the scene, and it was even more pleasurable for both of us. 

I notice a definite correlation between my libido and my desires for femininity and crossdressing. Over the prior months when we were both stressed about a lot of things, my desire for sex diminished, and with it went my habit of wearing ladies clothes. Lately, the desire for lingerie, panties, and other attire has started to come back. It's something my Lady and I have discussed a lot, and She is amazingly supportive. Still, I am trying to be very sensitive to Her, and trying to be sure that it does not grow out of proportion or interfere with the rest of our relationship.

Thanks for reading,

Jennifer

A Fantasy Weekend

It began on Friday in the early afternoon. They both had the day off, but she had some things to do in the morning that did not require his participation. They had discussed the upcoming weekend, and she had sent him a list of expectations and preparations. She provided only and outline of the itinerary, thus allowing her the flexibility to make on-the-fly changes. 

He, having been locked and chaste for coming up on two weeks, was energetic and full of anticipation. He set his preparation with seriousness and focus. He'd waited his whole life for a weekend like this, and he was desperate not to fuck it up. Having confessed his deepest fantasy to her, he looked at himself in the mirror as he shaved and reflected on the direction his life had taken since they'd met. He had known about his submissiveness for practically the whole of his life. He'd suffered heartache and humiliation (not the good kind) because, well, men aren't supposed to be submissive. They aren't supposed to be crossdressers. They aren't supposed to be sissies. They aren't supposed to value the woman's pleasure more than their own. 

She did not see him as submissive when they met. They had fallen in love quickly, and he did his best to be open and honest about his nature from the outset. For someone not used to seeing people in the context of "dominant" or "submissive," what he had to say was not easily internalized. It was only after countless hours of conversation, endless hours of her own research, and hundreds of sessions of love-making that she began to understand him, and something about herself as well.

A beautiful woman in every sense of the term, she also gained great satisfaction from giving, and not only to those whom she loved. She was kind to strangers, to the downtrodden, and to creatures of all species. Her heart opened to those who, like herself, had not been treated well in the past. 

She had not thus far had the benefit of finding a man who would treat her with the respect, love, and kindness that she so deserved. Until she met him. Her life changed that day. The road they were now on was not what she'd ever expected or could even have imagined. But each day, as he expressed and demonstrated his ever-deepening love to her, she felt herself changing inside. She was silly, funny, snarky, and playful and they filled each other with laughter in the kitchen, in the car, and nearly everywhere. She felt safe for the first time expressing her sexuality.  She wore sexy lingerie, she touched herself while he watched. She tied him up, blindfolded him, and bid him to worship her womanhood. As she asserted control over their lovemaking, he surrendered willingly, providing assurances that reinforced her confidence to take them further down the road than either had ventured previously.

"You are the love of my life," he'd said to her. "There is nothing that I would not do to please you, and to make your life better."  She believed him, but she didn't fully fathom the depth of that declaration, nor visualize the possibilities. She'd received his worshipful ministrations, been the beneficiary of a tongue that danced and flitted across her most sensitive and moist regions, taking her on orgasmic journeys to heights she'd never achieved. She witnessed the firmness of his erections whenever he pleased her orally, without any direct stimulation, and understood that his devotion was sincere. Whenever he entered her, he moved in ways to maximize her pleasure. He could go indefinitely, remaining hard and not climaxing, so long as it was pleasing to her. He would stop without climaxing if she so desired.

She wanted to reciprocate, as was her nature. She said to him, "tell me your fantasy, and I will make it come true."  She had a good idea by now what made him tick. She felt him grow harder inside her that time she whispered, "you are not allowed to cum today. Maybe tomorrow."  She heard the moan escape his lips when she bid him to wear lingerie, and then caressed him and told him how sexy he was. She anticipated that his fantasy would be along those lines, pushing the envelope further.

He thought long and hard about what he wanted, what to say. It was a complex question. An easy answer, consistent with the stories and videos easily found on the web, would involve her doing various things to him, the details of which the reader may imagine for themselves. She could tie him up and tease him for hours maybe, or peg him while he was in chastity, or maybe dress him like a maid and have him do her laundry, cleaning, etc. But these were not his ultimate fantasy. Oh, to be sure, they were stories he'd read, and masturbated to. Stories and images that got him off, sometimes. He thought to be careful not to idealize, not to project an unrealistic vision of a "perfect" scene that would playout exactly as he imagined. No, any fantasy-come-true would be different. It would be less of a caricature and more real. There would be uncertainty, nervousness and goofs. They would maintain a sense of humor, and not embody the stoic seriousness that he'd typically found in his browsing. He anticipated that these scenes might one day happen, tailored to the two of them. If she wished. 

That was the thing. What he wanted, more than anything, was for her to see herself as he did. He wanted her to realize and accept that she was deserving of his full and unfettered devotion. He wanted her to embrace the gift he was offering, and to accept, no, to require his humble and earnest service. He wanted that inner voice in her head that whispered negative thoughts to pack its bags and leave for good. He wanted the voice that took its place to say, "you are special, you are amazing, you are deserving. Relax and accept his gift."

He longed to be what she wanted him to be, in every circumstance. A fiancé, soon to be her husband; a sous chef to her executive chef mastery in the kitchen, sharing the experience, assisting her, reveling in the sumptuous meals she so loved creating; a gardening partner, sharing ideas and dreams, shaping them into reality; traveling companions the world over, holding hands and experiencing newness at every turn. The list went on in his mind. Every task, every chore, every whim, every dream, every fantasy she had, he longed to embrace, for they would give him new opportunities to demonstrate the unconditional completeness of his love for her. He did not want her to see this as a responsibility or burden. He wanted her to see it as an opportunity for both of them, and a chance to live a more fulfilling life. Though he'd expressed those desires more than once, it was difficult for her to process and accept. Through repetition and consistency in words and action, the messaging started to get through. 

She was getting more comfortable receiving; she was recognizing the benefits to herself in accepting him as he was. Still, she thought, "I like to give pleasure, too. I like to do things for him that make him happy. I still want to be able to do that."  She had pondered this conundrum at great length, and having done so, she reconciled her thoughts. "Well, he wants to please me in every way. So, if it pleases me at times to have him as my submissive, and to have him do as he is told, he will. If it pleases me at times to have him as my equal partner, so he shall be. If it pleases me to take his burden for a while, and tend to him with lovingkindness, because it's my nature, then he will graciously accept my gift."

So, she decided that this weekend, she was going to take charge. They would be together the entire weekend. She was going to assert her dominance, in her own special way, sometimes commanding his every action, sometimes giving him freedom of choice, and sometimes tending to his body, mind and soul. That was what he wanted. That what what she deserved. He was in her thrall, and it was there that his deepest most sincere fantasy lay.

Thanks for reading.

Jen

A Double Barrel, of Sorts

This weekend, my lady and I had a new adventure.  We'd been busy all week (as usual), and really motivated to have some good quality time together.  She whispered in my ear on Friday, "you'd better rest up tonight, because I have big plans for you tomorrow."  I did not need to hear that twice.  On Saturday morning, I received further instructions, and taking the initiative to fulfill the explicit ones, but also carry out the spirit of her commands, I proceeded to the bedroom.  

I cleansed myself inside and out, and I took a razor to my entire body.  The only hair I have is on my eyebrows (trimmed) and head (short); I am bare everywhere else.  Post shower, I inserted the largest of my butt plugs, locked myself in my pink Holy Trainer, and wore a pair of pink Vanity Fair Illumination bikini panties.  She loves me in pink, what can I say?  I fastened the bondage straps near the head and foot of the bed, and placed the cuffs on my ankle and wrists.  I then padded downstairs to fetch two wine glasses and a bottle of Pinot Noir, as per her instruction.  

As she announced via text her impending arrival, I finished the preparation with a surprise for her, sliding a dildo harness on, and then latching my ankles and one wrist to the straps.  Oh, the harness held a life-like cock, one of those double-silicone types that is firm but flexible, the same length as mine, and almost as large around. I'm happily endowed with a cock one may not normally associate with a submissive, feminine-feeling and crossdressing sissy. But there you have it. I am as I am, and I try not to bother pondering why.  I pulled the sheet over my body, placed a blindfold over my eyes, and waited.  

I heard her arrive, and ascend the stairs.  Pulling back the covers, she touched the cock (I could feel it move against the harness). "My, my, what have we here," she declared. I said to her, "if you're not comfortable with this, we don't have to have it." Well, trust me, she was comfortable with it.  She removed my blindfold, revealing a sexy lavender teddy that showed off her beautiful, womanly curves. She rubbed her moist pussy and traced her finger across my lips.  She then started stroking the cock. She kissed the head of the cock, and then started sucking on it, locking eyes with me as she did. I was watching her suck cock, right where my cock usually is, but I couldn't feel it (of course). 

The mixed messages that my brain tried to reconcile sent me into a sexual frenzy. It was one of the most erotic events I've ever seen.  What I felt was a combination of excitement from multiple fantasies rolled into one: chastity, submission, feminization, cuckolding.  My actual cock was straining to break free of its confines, but that would have to wait. She moved up and sat on my mouth, so that I could savor her taste, see how wet she was, and feel her magnificently engorged clitoris on my lips and tongue. I could worship her pussy for hours, but alas I was only permitted a minute or two. She then moved down and rubbed the cock all over her pussy, getting it wet. I watched in awe and excitement as she took her new friend into her pussy, as our eyes stayed locked on each other. She rode the cock, and presented her beautiful nipples for me to worship. I met her movements with thrusts of my own, again with my brain expecting but not receiving the normal coordinated signals from my several senses. 

She could have come that way. She got close, and it didn't take long. But she didn't want to. We had a lot of time and a lot more fun to have. She did eventually free my various parts from their various restraints, and we concluded the session quite satisfactorily for both of us.  

We cuddled, cooed, and dozed afterward, having re-expressed our deep and abiding love for each other.  This magical moment was made possible by love, trust, communication, and adventurous spirit.  She is awesome, and I love her more every day. Not just for what I write about here, but for a long, long list of other reasons.  I am very fortunate.

Thanks for reading.

Jen  

An Amusing Ride

It's been a while since I posted, and there have been some developments.

First off, the relationship with my lady just keeps getting better.  We bond on so many levels, and have such a great time together, doing everything. I like to go with her when she shops, or runs errands. She's sort of blown away by that, because her ex never did that. He reportedly whined and complained any time he had to do things she wanted or needed to do. His loss, my gain. 

We recently spent a week together in a small, rented apartment on a beach vacation. I think we were not more than a few meters apart the entire time, except for a brief trip I took to the market for a baguette one morning. We were also naked a lot. It was awesome. At the end, all we wanted to do was be together more. That will come soon, when we marry and I move into her house. Between then and now there are some logistical challenges to work out.

Ok, on to the kinky stuff...

My lady mentioned in some conversation a month or so ago something about chastity.  It might have been an article she'd read - she's studying up on kink, because, having come from a marriage where even oral was considered weird, she's got some catching up to do. I casually stated that I have a cage. She seemed a little surprised, but not much. I told her I'd show her some time. I'm trying to be careful not to pressure her into a situation that makes her uncomfortable. There are several reasons for that.

The primary reason is that I love her, deeply. I want her to be happy. To me that means that she is comfortable, and that we do things that she enjoys.  The second reason, not independent of the first, I suppose, is that I've learned (the hard way) that trying to do too much or go too fast is a sure way to failure. That said, maybe it sounds like I'm "topping from the bottom."  I think about that a lot. I'm trying not to. I'm focusing on making her happy, every day, in every way that I can. Nothing is better for me than seeing her happy.

As an example, the other day, I used the analogy of an amusement park with her. I said, "let's say I like amusement parks a lot, and that I like to go there often.  The parks are only so much fun when you are alone, and pretty soon, I start to find it less appealing. But then I take you to the park, and we go on some rides. The joy that I find in the park visit with you is mostly from seeing how happy being there makes you."  I don't want to take my lady on the craziest rides, I want to take her on the rides she wants to go on. If we never do all the rides, I don't care. If we do, it'll be because she discovered them and wanted to ride them. She might even want to go on rides that I don't like, but I'd do it because I love her, and I trust her. 

So, back to the cage, a few weeks passed, and we were making love. As is always my objective, her pleasure came first, and I was now heading towards mine. There was a bit of a delay in my climaxing, which is not unusual for me.  No issues with erections, but sometimes the climax eludes me.  She whispered in my ear, "you'd better enjoy this now, because afterward, I'm going to lock you up."  Schwing!!!  I climaxed a few seconds later.  In the afterglow, I told her, "I believe you've begun to understand my wiring diagram."  I brought the cage out so she could see it.  She played around with it, seeing how it goes together. A smile came over her face. I am amazed at her. We are way past any prior experiences I've had involving women in my kink. This is so fun.

Things went even further this past weekend.  I'll write about it soon.

Thanks for reading,

Jen

A New Year and New Opportunities

I suppose nearly all of us are glad to see 2020 in the rear view mirror.  I certainly am.

I am so very sorry for the losses and suffering the pandemic has caused.  For so many who lost loved ones or suffered from COVID-19 effects, my heart aches.  I am eternally grateful to all who have done their jobs, in healthcare particularly, but also in grocery stores, mail delivery, pharmacies and other lines of work that we have learned all too well are essential to the functioning of our society.

I must confess to being a lucky one.  Yes, my movements were restricted. Vacations, concerts, and other outings were forgone.  I continue to follow the medical experts' advice.  I wear a mask, wash my hands, limit social gatherings, and keep my distance when I have to venture out. I work from home. Those things are for me a mere nuisance. I have suffered no illness, no heartache, and no irreversible harm of any real sort as a result of the pandemic. I am fortunate and I know it. I have redoubled my efforts to provide what support I can (moral, financial, verbal) to people and places that have suffered.  I'd do more if I knew what that was.

But hey, this is a sex blog, so I must get on with the theme...

My lady and I started of the year with a bang.  Seriously.  We had the most amazing intimate moment this morning.  There really is nothing more that I love than bringing her pleasure.  I love her beyond measure, and I would do anything to make her happy.  She, like most of us I suppose, has had a difficult journey to the point in her life where we met. She is as madly in love with me as I am with her.  She characterized her orgasm as the most intense she'd ever had.  I am over the moon about that. BTW, we achieved that in a position that rhymes with "mighty fine" and is between 68 and 70.  It's a position I frankly never particularly enjoyed in previous relationships, but with her I find to be just fabulous.  It's  about the love, I think.  We are physically very compatible as well, so it's a comfortable arrangement with her on top controlling things.  Our love-making is whole body and mind. To be clear, performing oral sex on her is my hands-down favorite sexual act.  I'd forgo my own orgasm every time to bring her to one instead. She'll not stand for that though; she loves when I orgasm.

In the afterglow of our love-making, I revealed to her that I'd brought a few items of lingerie to perhaps enjoy, but we'd begun our festivities without them and I found neither opportunity nor need to introduce them.  I showed her what I brought, and also modelled a pair of pink panties with lace trim. She caressed my ass, and said she liked all of the items, and I am encouraged that she'll be happy to include them in some future love-making session. I'm glad we're taking it slowly, and I'm happy that our sex life is not centered on my crossdressing.  I don't want it to be. I want it to be about us, with props (clothing, vibrators, strap-ons, butt plugs, etc.) added as spices but not the main substance, and that's how it's been, and it's been awesome.

I really want to limit the times I orgasm while not with her, i.e. I want to minimize masturbating.  I feel like it is selfish. Although I can become erect easily at almost any time and provide her the PIV pleasure she loves, and also stimulate her orally to completion, she's made it clear to me, as I've stated, that she gains great satisfaction in inducing me to orgasm.  It's more difficult to do that if I've masturbated in the previous few days, and so I'd like to avoid that for her sake. Still, there are times when I've gone more than a week without masturbating, and not been able to orgasm when we make love, so there's more a play here than just my autoerotic stimulations.  Maybe a story for another day...

The challenge on the masturbatory front is that before I met her, Rosie Palm was my steady date.  I'm really good at masturbating.  I did it a lot.  I know what I like and what works at a particular moment.  Go figure. It's not easy to stop a long-time habit.  I'm up to the task, I think.  To address this challenge, I'm going to try to wear my Holy Trainer more often when I'm not around my love.  If I can keep my grubby mitts off my penis, then maybe I can keep from getting carried away. That's the premise.  I guess I'll let you know how it's working.  The HT feels nice, actually. It's comfortable, and a lot of times I forget I'm even wearing it.  Of course, it requires peeing sitting down, but I do that anyway, for several reasons, even if I'm unlocked.

So, what are the new opportunities I spoke of in the title of this message? Mine is first and foremost to find new ways to deepen my love for my lady.  Second, if it does not impede the first, to find the right level of crossdressing that fits within the love we have for each other.  I'm hopeful that she'll fully embrace my feminine side - signs are good thus far - but I'm prepared to limit what I do for my own selfish needs in order to maximize the pleasure I bring to her.  

Third, I hope that we can explore and incorporate more of my submissive nature into our relationship.  We've had a number of discussions about it, and she's learning what it means. She's not into giving pain, degradation, etc., and that's ok with me.  While I do confess that such activities can be a turn-on, I don't see it as a healthy behavior in a long-term relationship. I've recently been reading about sensual domination, and that direction may be a better path for the two of us. 

The thing that make our relationship magical is that she also wants my happiness as her top priority.  Did I mention that she's awesome?  She is. I'm confident that we will find a path that is mutually satisfying and builds us towards an ever deeper and longer lasting love.

Thanks for reading.

Jen