Making Our Own Fireworks

This Independence Day weekend brought lots of beautiful weather to our little neck of the woods, which we took advantage of it to spend some lovely outdoor time and celebrate the holiday with friends. We also had significant quality time in the boudoir. 

Leading up to and through the weekend, I spent nearly all of it with my cock locked in its 3D printed cage. I like the security of wearing the device, and the psychological effect of keeping myself chaste so that my Lady can have me at the top of my game when it pleases Her. The locking part was true from Wednesday onward. Having orgasmed twice last weekend, my desire for sex suffered diminution for a few days, and my routine of self-locking fell out as a result. By mid-week, things were perking up again, and back I went into the cage. So, it was really only about three days of non-stop chastity for me before the weekend festivities began on Saturday. 

I can lock and unlock at my discretion; the keys are available to me when I choose to use them. I don't know if that will remain true. It will be my Lady's decision if She wants to take away the key access and require me to ask Her for them. I purchased a small clear lock box and plastic locks in case She decides to keep one set for emergencies while hiding the set that She possesses. Also, in preparation for that possibility I've devised a method of showering that enables me to get a very good soapy rinse all around my groin area, so I'm confident that I can remain clean and healthy while locked. I can also shave a fair amount of the area, but complete shaving will definitely require removal at some interval. 

Saturday morning's session was filled with all the things I love: worshipping my Lady and all Her glorious parts, and receiving Her attention in return. It culminated in a lengthy and intense orgasm for Her, brought on ultimately by my oral homage. She really enjoys looking down upon me as I worship Her Pussy, and I love when we make and hold eye contact in those moments. She made it clear that I would not be climaxing that day, as we had the whole weekend and She wanted me ready, willing and able. So, back into the cage I went and we proceeded with our day.

Sunday turned out to be a busy day, with lots of preparations leading up to the social gathering and the fireworks display. We didn't have naked time together, but we spent the whole day being together doing all the other things that loving, married couples do. I so enjoy being in Her company, doing whatever we need to do, so it was still a great day. I know how She feels about me, and I know that She also loves our time together equally as much.

Monday there were more fireworks, but they were the indoor, private kind. I worshipped Her extensively, and She unlocked me to make use of my rigidness. She was planning to just tease for a while, and save Herself for an afternoon session, but things got going so well that She changed Her mind and again orgasmed on my face, this time in a sixty-nine position. I locked myself back up, and She told me that in the afternoon She was going to fuck me.

Fuck me She did, indeed. After preparing myself carefully, I started on the bed, caged, wearing a bralette and panties, cuffed and blindfolded, while She had Her way with me, teasing me and making me ache with desire. After a while, She freed me from the restraints, panties, blindfold and cage, and got off the bed to put on the harness and realistic strap-on cock. While She did that, I started to go a bit soft. Seeing that, She first had me suck Her cock, which I did with enthusiasm, and my hard-on returned in short order. She knew it would. Sucking Her fake cock is a real turn-on.

She then took me in a new way: on my back, my ass raised slightly by pillow and Her standing by the bed. It didn't take long to prepare me, as my ass is getting used to these penetrations. One finger and then two, and a short while later I was ready for Her cock. Not long after penetrating me, She started a rhythm, thrusting deep into me, really fucking me hard. It felt so good. I watched Her expression, and could see how much She was into getting into me. At one point, She said that She's going to need to fuck me with a bigger cock soon. We have a large black dildo that's probably ten inches long and quite thick. The thought of being able to take that beast really got me going and also frightens me a bit. I guess I'm a size queen. :-)

My Lady told me that I could climax, so while She continued to pound my ass I stroked my cock and sucked on the aforementioned black dildo. I came long and hard. It was the most intense orgasm I've had in quite some time. We both went to rinse things off, and I came back thinking we would complete the session by me helping Her climax again, but She was quite content to call and end to the session. She said, "it's ok for it to sometimes be all about you."  She is amazing. 

Unlike last week, I decided that I'd better lock myself up right away. My lady checked later while we were in the kitchen, and She was pleased that I'd done so. We ended the day on the sofa, Her feet in my lap while I massaged lotion into them and generally made Her feel good. 

What I take away from this weekend are these observations: First, our love for each other grows deeper by the day, as we spend time doing everything that we do together. Second, I'm confident that She really loves what we're doing in the bedroom, and that is an essential element. It would ruin things for me if She was just doing it for my benefit. Third, the more She fucks me, the deeper I fall into the submissive role in our marriage. It's difficult for me to act any other way during a given day when I know that I'm going to get fucked good and proper later on. The anticipation hangs in the air, and affects my attitude in a very positive way for that strengthens my respect and love for Her. 

Being the submissive doesn't mean waiting around to be told what to do all the time, or having no say in anything. To me, it comes down to this. I judge my actions each day by a simple test: Is what I'm doing make life better for my Lady? If yes, then I try do it. If no, then I try to avoid it. It means She spends Her time doing what She likes to do, and I spend my time doing what She delegates to me, doing what I see or think of that needs doing, and finding creative ways to serve Her in a manner that She doesn't expect. I don't profess perfection in this regard; I'm a work in progress. But I profess my boundless love for Her, and have dedicated my life to pleasing Her in every way that I can. I have married the perfect Woman for me, and I've never been happier nor more content in my life.

Thanks for reading.

Jennifer

Thoughts on Pegging

My Lady has now fucked me every weekend for the last three, and this weekend She pegged me twice. The first was with the large pink phallus strapped to Her harness. It felt really good, but to be honest it's a big rigid and can be uncomfortable if the angle is slightly off. Not to say I didn't enjoy it. On the contrary, I enjoyed it very much. I masturbated while She fucked me, and sucked on a realistic dildo. She told me I was permitted to cum, and so I did, all over my belly.  She tasted my ejaculate, and then used it as a lubricant to stimulate Herself and climaxed while I sucked on Her Nipples. My cock deflated pretty quickly after my orgasm, so it wasn't much use to Her. She mentioned the fact afterward, and I told Her that it's one of the reasons that I prefer it when She climaxes first.

On Sunday, we tried the purple strapless dildo that is supposed to be retained by the part that She inserts in Her Pussy. Maybe it would work for a lesbian couple, but I think the resistance associated with the recipient receiving anal is too much; the other end just doesn't stay inside Her. Thinking we could fix that problem, I'd purchased a harness that allows Her end of the strap-on to fit inside Her and still have the business end be at a comfortable angle, with the added security of the harness to hold things in place. Well, the purple thing is really rigid, much more than the pink one, and after a few minutes we realized that it wasn't working. We decided to put it aside and try something else. We may return to it in the future. 

Enter the realistic cock. We actually have two that are pretty similar to each other, and they are like my own cock: 7.5 - 8.0" long, cut, and reasonably thick (mine's slightly thicker). The package says it's 9" long, but some of it is unusable (because of the balls, base, and where it mounts to the strap-on ring).  The fake cocks are made of those dual layer silicone that's more rigid inside with a softer exterior. She lubed up the cock and it slid quite easily into my ass. It felt really good. It was definitely the best fucking She's given me. Again, I sucked another dildo (a big black cock) and masturbated. She again gave me permission to cum, and it was another large one.

There are some things to contemplate surrounding this new dynamic.

First, My Lady really likes fucking me, and I like when She does. There's definitely a power exchange going on there. I feel more submissive to Her each time She does it, and it appears that She is gaining more comfort dominating me. She says nasty things to me, telling me that my ass is Hers, that She loves fucking me, and that She's going to fuck me a lot going forward. I'm looking forward to it. My submissive feelings last well after the event. I find myself even more attentive to Her, and I look for more ways to make Her life better.

Second, Her control of my orgasms is increasing. She pretty much decides when I climax and when I can be out of the cock cage. We went to dinner with friends over the weekend, and as we dressed, I asked if She wanted me caged. She said, "yes, the bathrooms there are private, so there's no reason not to." I'm better off when I'm caged and when I don't cum as often.  After climaxing twice this weekend, my libido took a hit, and I'm just now starting to regain it. I told Her about that, and She said, "maybe I need to limit your climaxes to every six months!"  If I'm serious about giving up control then the duration is Her decision. It might take a while to work up to that level of denial, frankly. I know She loves and cares for me greatly, so I trust Her to set the intervals to something that is good for both of us. She has allowed me to be out of the cage for a few days, but it's time to go back in; I can tell. I bought one of those lock boxes with the numbered plastic locks that can be put on it. We haven't used it yet, but at some point perhaps She will take Her set of keys and put them where I cannot access them, while locking the other set up for emergency use only.

Third, the fact that the last four times I've cum has been while She fucked me and I sucked a fake cock is not lost on either of us. I have never been attracted to men, but when I'm sexually aroused and feeling submissive, cocks are a definite turn-on. I'd call myself bisexual in those moments. We've had conversations about threesomes, and cuckolding. We've play-acted using the dildos (on Sunday, She egged me on as I fucked Her with the BBC and sucked Her Clitoris at the same time). My Lady feels strongly against actually allowing another man into our play, and I'm 100% supportive of Her position. She also has zero interest in another woman, so that's off the table as well. There's a tremendous amount of risk in adding a third person to a sexual relationship; it's just not something that is realistic, at least for the foreseeable future. Of course, that doesn't stop the fantasies, and the play is really fun.

Thanks for reading,

Jennifer

Role Reversal - Sort of

On Sunday, I asked my Lady if She would like to experience what She had given me the prior couple of weekends. She has been wanting to experience anal for a while, and I have been hesitant. It's not fair to Her and I am disappointed in myself to failing Her in this way. The difficulty for me is that I perceive the act to be dominant, and my erection fades at the thought. Enter the strap-on. There's no reason I can't wear the thing and give it to Her the way She did me. Well, not quite the same. She fucked me good and hard, and it was clear to me that She enjoyed the dominant role, taking my ass and making me Hers. Me too. The act of Her fucking me also brings Her physical stimulation, rubbing the harness against Her beautiful and engorged Clitoris.

There is no direct equivalent in my case. My use of the strap-on with Her would be as a tool (literally and figuratively) to bring her pleasure. There would be no direct involvement of my actual penis. We kept it locked away in its 3D printed cage. It's a real turn-on for me to be locked and wearing a fake cock for Her to enjoy. It's a game though, because She tells me quite often that my real thing is Her favorite. I have to agree; my cock is warm, firm, and large and it fits perfectly inside Her. We both love it immensely.

I warmed Her up by orally worshiping Her back there for a good long time. There are so many nerve endings in that area, and I know from experience how good it feels. After that, I put some coconut oil on my fingers and alternately inserted my index and middle fingers, slowly helping Her get accustomed to it, and then I used both fingers at the same time. She told me afterward that feeling my knuckles inside Her made Her think that the strap-on would hurt. Not knowing that at the time, I asked if She was ready, and with Her assent I lubed up the pink phallus protruding from the harness, and slowly began inserting it, paying close attention to Her expression and asking how it felt. It turned out that the cock was much more comfortable for Her than my fingers had been. I held still at Her direction, and began to thrust gently when She was ready. We continued in that way, and She started masturbating while I fucked Her. She came intensely and I was extremely pleased.

We cuddled for a bit, and then cleaned up. I remained caged the entire time. I loved the fact that I could focus 100% on Her pleasure. It's unlikely to become the norm, however. As I said, my Lady loves having my cock free for her to suck and fuck. Who am I to argue? 

Thanks for reading.

Jennifer

Starting a New Life Together

A lot more has been going on in our lives for the past ten months or so, beyond what were already very busy lives we've been leading.  Consequently, I've not had the time to post anything meaningful here, I didn't feel the desire or need to post an "I'm still here" message.  So, here I am, with a bit of time on my hands, and thought it'd be good to write something that I hope the reader will find mildly interesting.

My Lady and I recently got married. So, I am now officially Her husband, and She is my Wife. I will continue to call her my Lady here. I've also decided to honor Her more by capitalizing Her pronouns, and I'll do my best to be consistent in that regard. We are under one roof, and although there remains a bit a chaos associated with assimilating two households worth of belongings into one, the stress is orders of magnitude lower than it has been. Anyway, this is not a Better Homes and Gardens blog, so I'll get to the point and talk about our sex life. 

In short, it's fantastic, and getting better. I know I've posted about my submissiveness, and my feminine side. My Lady loves all of me, as She has reminded me repeatedly, and She is exploring the boundaries of our dynamic, and seems to be comfortable taking on a more dominant role. For example, she has gotten more verbal during our love-making. She likes to tell me that I'm going to worship Her Pussy. Which of course I love doing. I also often ask if I may worship Her Pussy. She sits on my face and smiles as She looks down at me while I minister to Her. I love making eye contact while doing so; it makes me feel even more submissive and under Her spell. Her Pussy is divine. I could spend hours licking, sucking and drinking Her in. 

She sometimes releases Her Wine while I am orally worshiping Her. At first it was inadvertent, and She was uncomfortable when She realized what had happened. I assured Her that it was more than fine, that I actually enjoy it. It has happened a few times since, and I'm not sure it has been accidental. She is definitely less inhibited about it. I suppose I enjoy Her Wine for several reasons. First, it is a truly submissive act, and as such it really turns me on; like She's marking Her territory. Second, knowing that I've pleased Her so intensely that She lost a bit of control makes me very happy. Third, I like the taste and the feeling of Her wetness in my mouth and on my face and neck.

My Lady has also effectively taken control of my orgasms, deciding when I may and may not come.  She'll often, as She did this morning, simply tell me that I'm not allowed to cum. My orgasms are less frequent than Hers, probably by a ratio of 3 or 4 to 1. I like it that way. I love the focusing being on Her pleasure; my pleasure derives from Hers. I feel like I'm a more attentive lover, husband, and partner when I have fewer climaxes, because I don't go through that letdown period after. I would be completely supportive of having even fewer orgasms, but that will be Her call. She still likes when I climax, and she likes the taste of my semen. I've also taken to wearing my chastity cages again, with Her support and encouragement. My hope is that one day She'll decide that for me as well, when I am required to be caged and when I am permitted to be free. It feels good to wear a cage, and I think it will feel even better knowing that I have little or no say in the matter. 

Before our wedding, my Lady told me that the marriage would not be truly consummated until She fucked me. I totally agreed. We did also consummate in the more traditional sense, and of course we both really love standard PIV intercourse. Physically, we fit very well together. She loves sucking my cock and feeling it inside Her. I think it feels amazing. But the idea of Her fucking gets me going. On our honeymoon, we went to an adult toy store and bought a strap-on and rather substantial pink phallus. She fucked me good and proper with it, and last week She did so again, and I masturbated while She fucked me hard. I also sucked on a fake cock while She egged me on, saying lots of hot and nasty things to me, like how She loves fucking me, and how hot I look sucking cock. I came a lot, all over my abdomen. She licked some up, scooped up some more and fed it too me, and then She used some of the remaining come to rub Her clitoris while riding my still hard cock. This afternoon, we repeated the scene, and it was even more pleasurable for both of us. 

I notice a definite correlation between my libido and my desires for femininity and crossdressing. Over the prior months when we were both stressed about a lot of things, my desire for sex diminished, and with it went my habit of wearing ladies clothes. Lately, the desire for lingerie, panties, and other attire has started to come back. It's something my Lady and I have discussed a lot, and She is amazingly supportive. Still, I am trying to be very sensitive to Her, and trying to be sure that it does not grow out of proportion or interfere with the rest of our relationship.

Thanks for reading,

Jennifer

Making the Most of a Small Window

This weekend, my lady and I had only a small window for private time. We made the most of it. It had been a long and busy week, filled with work, family obligations and a few concerts. All of the time I spent with her was grand, but there wasn't enough naked time for our liking.  Saturday afternoon, we finally had our "quality" time. She secured me to the bed and teased me, biting my nipples, rubbing her body across mine, and whispering erotic thoughts into my brain. I fell quickly and deeply into a submissive state. She alternately mounted and sucked my cock, teasing me about how good her juices taste on my cock. I yearned for my chance to taste her, as I cannot get enough of her beautiful, sexy delicious pussy.  She licked my shaft and said, "mmmm, so good," while smiling at me as I lay there, helpless.

Finally, she moved up and mounted my face. I worshipped her for a short while (it's never long enough) and then she went back to teasing me some more. After a bit she got up to pee, and I asked her if she'd please not wipe completely, because I wanted to taste her enhanced wetness. You may recall some time ago (I think I wrote about it) that my lady once inadvertently released some pee while I was worshipping her pussy, and while I enjoyed the experience immensely, she was a bit embarrassed by it. I thought this might be a way to reinforce that I really did enjoy it, and make her feel comfortable. My lady heeded my request, and when she remounted my face, I thought I would lose my mind with lust. Her taste was much as it was previously, but with a saltier edge to it. The actual flavor and the knowledge of what it was made my untouched cock grow, swell and become hard as granite. 

My lady loves to 69 with me while I worship her pussy, because she likes to suck my cock as well.  I think it's our favorite position overall, and one that she very often climaxes in. I get to watch her spasm when she does, and I love that. Another favorite position of mine is when she mounts my face facing the headboard. It enhances my submissive feelings, both due to the focus solely on her pleasure, and the power exchange that comes with eye contact in that situation.

We ended the session in a 69, and my lady had a powerful and long-lasting orgasm. There was no discussion of me having an orgasm. I appreciate that, and take it as a sign of her growing understanding of me and confidence in herself. 

Thanks for reading.

Jen.

Relaxation in the Sun

We've been working. A lot. We've found time to be intimate, but not as much as we'd have liked. Not as much as we needed. Now, we're a third of the way into a twelve day vacation on a warm, sunny island.  We have a "two-foot" rule, meaning we try to be in each others' company at nearly all times, as much as practical. Like gravitational attraction, our desires grow with the inverse square of our distance. We've had fabulous meals and lots of great times in the water. And we've had a lot of quality naked time. We've made love at least once per day, and my lady has experienced thundering orgasms in most of them. For the last two evenings, the activities of the day and alcohol consumed with dinner have tempered our activities, but the evening intimacy has only served to build the anticipation for the subsequent morning. 

I love everything about our sex life. My lady cums much more often than I do. I am very happy for that. I prefer her orgasms to my own. As a submissive, my greatest pleasure is in serving, pleasuring, and honoring my lady. It would take many blogs to unpack all the reasons, and I won't be doing that now, if ever. I yam what I yam, as Popeye said. I also prefer the feeling of denial, delay and elevated state of arousal that comes with not cumming for a while. It lingers throughout the day and makes me feel more energized and alive.

Yesterday morning, after bringing her to climax, she began to get ready for an outing we'd planned. I was lying in bed, my cock slowly returning from its erect state to a flaccid one without having cum. I watched her brushing her hair, and the feeling of love that I have for her just washed over my like a rogue wave. I cried, quietly, thinking about how fortunate I am have found this beautiful, amazing, kind, caring, accepting, and sexually adventurous woman. She is the love of my life; more than I ever dreamed of or dared to hope for. 

This morning, I'm up early. I'll shower soon, start the coffee, shower, shave, and put on some sexy lingerie that she hasn't seen yet. I plan to worship her body and bring her pleasure for as long as she likes. She'll orgasm, almost certainly. I might. 

I've told her that one of my fantasies is to climax inside her and then orally worship her again, consuming the mixture of our excitement. She, love of my life that she is, wants to fulfill that fantasy. It requires several specific things to happen, and in order. First, we intend for her to be on top, so that once I cum, she can move up my body and place her wet, cum-filled pussy onto my mouth. Thus, I must be able to climax in that position, which is a rare event. I normally climax in the standard missionary position, where I can thrust vigorously. She loves that by the way. I'm larger than average in the penis department, and we fit together very well. We both enjoy when I'm on top and fucking her hard. So if the need arises for me to orgasm, that's usually how it happens.

Next, I will have to come first, because my lady's lady parts get very sensitive after she orgasms, so oral homage after she comes is not really in the cards. I'm not used to coming first, and it's sort of against my submissive impulses. This is doable, physically, and she's very supportive. I just have to convince my submissive self that it's ok to do it.

Last, I have to not lose the urge to go down on her after my own orgasm passes, and my desires crash. There are a lot of things I'd do in the state of sexual arousal that are more challenging to do after. Consuming cum is one of those. Yes, I've done that. Before I met my lady, I experimented with various solo methods of sexual pleasure, including consuming my semen. I found that if I came in my hand, I could take it in my mouth almost immediately, before sexually crashing. I also found if I came in a glass, I could save it in the freezer for next time, and then consume that prior ejaculation while arousing myself for the next one. I also found that if I waited even a minute after coming, I lost all desire to swallow my own semen, and would just wash my hands instead. 

I have an idea about how we might accomplish all of the above. First, the longer I am delayed in climaxing, the more likely I will be able to come with my lady on top, and also be able to come first. It's been over a week for me at this point. Second, if I have a "ruined" orgasm, then my state of arousal won't diminish as quickly, and I should be able to maintain my desire to follow through.

You probably know what a ruined orgasm is if you read blogs like mine, but if you don't, here's a good description: https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a28539248/ruined-orgasm-bdsm/

The technique is to basically stop all physical stimulation shortly before the point of no return where, the contractions have started and you pretty much cannot prevent ejaculation. However, by removing the ongoing stimulation, timed just right, the physical release happens without the accompanying flood of endorphins. Thus, the sexual tension remains. 

It's ok if this doesn't happen soon. Maybe it'll take some work to build to it. Maybe we should practice with a ruined orgasm first, brought on manually onto my belly. She could then play with my cum as she likes, and we can go from there.

Whatever we do, I'm sure it'll be fun and exciting. 

Thanks for reading.

Jen

More Than Ever, Everyday

It's been a while since I posted.  We're as wonderful together as ever. I've just been very busy at my job, and haven't had the time to compose a post that is worthy of the love that I have for my lady.

It's true. I love her more with each passing day.

Our life is grand in every way.  

I hope to have a break soon and be able to post some juicy details of just how grand.  :-)

Thanks for reading.

Jen

What is Humiliation?

Tonight we talked about humiliation. My lady has made it clear that a hard limit for her is that she will not do anything that causes her to lose respect for me, or to humiliate me.  I am in complete alignment with that. The most important aspect of our relationship is our mutual love and respect for each other. My lady is my everything, and I am hers. Our time in the bedroom (or elsewhere) is one facet that, however magnificent (and oh, is it ever!), does not outshine all the other aspects of our life together.

It got me thinking about what, exactly, humiliation is. Yeah, there's the Webster's definition. That's all well and good. However, I think she said it better already. If she "forced" me to do something that caused her to lose respect for me, that would be humiliating. We would both hate that. It would affect our whole relationship. I've read stories about Dommes who put their subs through all sorts of paces, for the sole purpose of laughing at them or denigrating them. That won't float either of our boats. In fact, I believe we'd take on water at an alarming pace. 

I am not in a position, nor of any mind to pass judgement on what works for others, although I do find myself hoping for a happy, healthy psychological ending for some of the folks whose stories I've read.

When we started the conversation, my lady assumed I was referring specifically to the instance in which she inadvertently released some piss into my mouth when I was worshipping her pussy. I did not find that the least bit humiliating, for the simple reason that she didn't do it to belittle me. Also, I liked it. A lot. I'd like to do it again. Whether we do, or experiment in other ways, time will tell. The litmus test remains, are we doing this out of love and respect in addition to a sense of adventure? If the answer is yes, then it is not humiliating, regardless of the activity.

Thanks for reading.

Jen

Awesome

My lady is awesome. I love her more deeply than I previously understood possible. 

I will recount some of the things I love about her, but inevitably I will neglect some important facet, because there are more aspects to her magnificence than my mind can retain at any given time.  Let me offer a short story about her.

As near as I can tell, my lady never really had a male figure in her life who treated her well.  I shall not recount the details, but neither her father, nor her ex-husbands gave her the respect and love that she deserves. Her exes had issues. I'll leave it at that. Still, she was able to separate their shortcomings from her own image of self-worth to a large degree. She is intelligent, ethical and strong. Not to mention beautiful, funny and so very sexy.

In spite of all that has been thrown her way, and yes, the choices she has made that didn't work out, my lady has been steadfast in her values. Her moral compass has never drifted. She tolerated unacceptable behavior, but only until she reached the decision that there was no longer the possibility of favorable resolution. She raised wonderful children without the support of a good husband, and for that alone she deserves a Medal of Honor.

You might imagine that, having had that history with men, when we started seeing each other her signal flares might have gone off. Danger, danger, Will Robinson... I disclosed as early as I could reasonably do so the "fatal flaws" that I felt that I carried, namely:

• Divorced
• Had an affair
• Crossdresser

I have made many mistakes in my life. I shall not be defined by them. I have learned from them, and have grown substantially as a human as a result of them. Among my my mistakes was marrying a young lady (when I was a young man) with whom I could not communicate and from whom I grew apart. Having an affair was another one - a big one. I rationalized it, of course, but there's no defending it.  All I can to is own up to it, learn from it and move on. 

So, yeah, that's not a list of attributes a lady looks for in her man. It screams, "run for the hills!!!"  Particularly after the prior experiences she's had. It reminds me of this exchange in "As Good As It Gets" 

            CAROL

Why can't I have a normal boyfriend??? Why? Just a regular boyfriend who doesn't go nuts on me... 

BEVERLY

(butting in)

Everybody wants that, dear -- it doesn't exist...

That's definitely how I have felt - not normal. And I'm quite aware that I'm No. 3 of 3 in that regard in terms of the men who've lined up for her affections.

Except for two things. First, I love and respect her immeasurably. That makes me different than her prior men. Second, my lady makes me feel normal. Actually, she makes me feel exceptional. She makes me feel justified being who I am, how I am, and what I am. She sees the goodness in me (yes, I have good traits, too). She loves me for those traits, and she is learning to accept, and, dare I say, embrace my other "non-traditional" characteristics.

These past weekend was a long and glorious one. I had painted my toenails during the week, and as the weekend approached, chose not to remove the polish. My lady has been aware of my penchant for this, and has seen the evidence; I don't always do a great job removing all remnants. I left my socks on when she arrived, and explained why, emphasizing that I didn't want to push her out of her comfort zone. She smiled and said that she wanted to see them, so off came the socks and another step was taken. She complimented me on the job I did and said I looked sexy. What an amazing woman. Have I said that already?

We had a lot of sex this weekend. I cannot recount the events in sequence or in full detail. Frankly, I was too caught up in being with her to spend time committing it all to memory or writing it down. I remember vignettes, and I definitely remember feelings. I spent quite a bit of time, to my extreme pleasure, worshipping her pussy. I love everything about it, the taste, the feeling, the aroma, and most of all, how it makes her feel. I'm good at it, this I know. I told her that I'd love for her to grab hold of my head and just rub her pussy all over my face, using me to climax, and leaving my face a wet, hot mess that I'd leave unwashed for the rest of the day. We did that. Actually, I got a bit eager and did some of the moving myself. This surprised her, and she released maybe a half cup of pee into my mouth and onto my face, drenching me. It was warm and salty and I loved it. She didn't know that she'd done it until I told her. She was embarrassed and apologetic, until she saw how absolutely rock hard my cock had become. I wore her scent for hours. I could smell her and feel her on my skin after it dried. I felt possessed by her, marked and defined as hers, and I reveled in the feeling. I can't wait to repeat it.

She told me that I wasn't allowed to cum on Saturday, that she was going to tease me and then on Sunday she was going to fuck me with her purple strapless dildo. She had come maybe three times by this point in the weekend, and I was clearing the seven day mark since my last orgasm. I wore the cage a lot, including at a party we went to later.  However, being with her, or even thinking of her when we were apart kept me engorged, and I was a bit concerned about continued confinement in that condition, so I freed myself later that evening. A damaged penis is not good for either of us. 

On Sunday morning, we had a cuddle session that turned X-rated. She rode my cock and I worshipped her pussy.  She whispered how she was going to fuck me and make me hers. I fell deeper into sub-space, and begged her to take me in that way.  For the afternoon session, I spent time preparing myself to be the recipient. I still don't have the best procedure, I think, but I was successful in ensuring that I was clean back there. I went to her room (soon to be our room) while she tended to other things. I secured the restraints to my limbs, and my legs and right arm to the bed straps. When she came into the room, I was wearing a chemise, bunched up to my stomach, slowly masturbating with my free hand, and my cock was rock hard. This turned her on quite a bit. She likes watching me masturbate, and having her watch me is a real turn-on. 

As I believe I've mentioned previously, I have a pretty large cock. It measures between 7.5 and 8.0 inches and is proportionally thick. That is unusual in the general population, from the research I've done, and anecdotally even more rare among submissive, crossdressing males. My lady loves my cock, and the feeling is mutual. She loves to suck it, kiss it and tease it. I love watching her, and the feeling of her mouth on my cock is wonderful. We both love when I'm inside her. This is one of the many ways that we fit perfectly together. My lady had her way with me in these regards, and then she released my leg restraints to gain access to my rear opening. Some tongue action, followed by a lubricated finger got me ready. She started with the pink strap-on, which is a bit smaller. My back door has some work to do in order to accommodate larger objects, but we're working towards that. She had me suck her pink cock for a while before getting into position. I think we both like when she watches me do that. I looked at the combined scene and was struck by how unusual and incredibly erotic it was. My chemise, her beautiful, naked, sexy body poised to mount me, the strap-on harness, the pink dildo, my shaved legs, the restraints on my ankles, and my painted toenails. She entered me carefully, giving me time to adjust to the invader. She started moving in me, and we kissed. I looked into her smoky, eyes and was lost in her beauty.

After loosening me up, she switched over to the strapless one. It's going to take some practice to get the technique down so that it gives her the pleasure we seek for her while she fucks me. We stopped after a while, but made good progress. I want for us both to be able to orgasm when she fucks me. I long for the time when we're living together and she'll say, out of the blue, "go get yourself ready, I'm going to fuck you."  Ooooh.  

She did orgasm, using a combination of my mouth, my cock and her nimble fingers. It was a good one, based on my eye-witness account. She decided that she wanted me to come, and I ended up masturbating while she watched.

On Monday, we had more quality time in the morning as a prelude to a more intimate afternoon session. I had suggested that we spend part of the day taking a hike. To be honest, I was looking forward to that as a highlight of the day. I love being with her in all places, and doing all things. As it turned out, after taking care of things at our respective houses, when I returned to her place, my lady announced that we would not be hiking that day. Initially, I was crestfallen. She explained the timeline we had for the remaining part of the day, and determined that there wasn't time for the hike. I didn't argue, but I did express that I was a little disappointed. There are a few takeaways from this interaction. First, I quickly realized that if I truly meant what I said to her numerous times, i.e. "I'll do anything for you," then that includes abiding by her decision when it's not up for debate. This was one of those cases, and I took comfort in being able to follow her lead without drama. Second, it was really hot outside, so a hike at that time of day would have been somewhat miserable. I was happy that she made the decision and that I accepted it. That would have been true even if it had turned out that we did have time. But she was correct. By the time we did the other necessary things, we'd have been left with the choice of a hike or time in the bedroom. Duh.

Our bedroom time focus was on anal again, but this time she was the recipient. She likes it a lot, and we will be doing more of that. I followed her pattern from the day before, staring with my tongue, then my fingers and finally the pink dildo in the strap-on. She's not ready to accommodate my cock, yet. She wanted to repeat the double penetration scene we did once, but I'm having trouble keeping my cock hard and ready to play in that situation. We used the realistic cock as the second player for her pussy, and she came quite hard that way. We closed out the session with her stroking me for a good long while, until her arm got tired. I loved how it felt, and she's learning how to work me, but we have some more practicing to do. I took over for her, and she whispered into my ear. When she told me how she's going to fuck me regularly, I climaxed intensely. She smiled.

I love this woman, more than words can express.

Thanks for reading.

Jen

Tuesday Night Special

Yesterday morning, I left a comment on an Evolving Your Man article dealing with Delayed Ejaculation. The upshot is about how some men have trouble cumming by means other than their own hands. It's a challenge that I have as well. 

Last evening, my lady came to my house for dinner. I did all the meal prep work. She poured us both a glass of wine, and relaxed on the sofa with her feet up and made a phone call while I tended to the meal. I stopped the prep work and went to be with her while she finished her call. I had an overwhelming desire to rub her feet, and so I repositioned myself and did that for a while, until the cat decided he wanted attention and sort of took over the job, rubbing his furry little face over her feet. I guess you could say I got cat-blocked. I returned to the sofa next to her, and the cat joined us, curling up on her lap. He loves her, so who am I to complain. He's a cutie.

She finished her call, and I finished up the meal prep. It turned out well, and afterward, I suggested that we retire to the bedroom for some naked cuddle time. I laid on my stomach and she laid on top of me, grinding her sex into my ass. I know what I was thinking. I can't wait until she fucks me again. 

I turned over and she resumed laying upon my body. My cock grew hard quickly, and clearly she was ready. She mounted me for a brief fuck. I confessed to her that this evening was a fantasy come true for me. I recounted our evening as follows: I work in the kitchen, preparing the meal while she relaxes. I rub her feet to help her de-stress. We dine, I clean-up, and we retire to the bedroom where I worship her to orgasm. She definitely liked that idea, and while it didn't play out exactly that way, we have many more nights to work on it. 

She pulled off of me and tasted herself on my cock, knowing how it makes me ache for her taste. I begged for the chance to worship her pussy, and she granted mercy, settling on my mouth for a blissful but all too brief session. She rolled over and we lay together for a bit. I asked if I could lick her pussy more, and she declined, saying I'd have to wait.

I laid upon her instead. I believe we have an understanding that I can take the lead when the moment is right, and that she has veto power over my actions. There is no question in my mind that the moment she declares a limit, and end, or a change in what we are doing that I will comply immediately and to the best of my ability. 

My cock was still hard and rubbing against her sex. I made a move to enter her and she opened her legs in approval. I thrust vigorously, and she loved it. Soon I felt my climax approaching, and I passed the point of no return. I announced that I was about to come, and she made no sign that I was to stop. I don't think I could have at that point, but I suppose if we ever tells me to cease and desist that I will obey.

My orgasm was massive. As we kissed and calmed down, she confirmed my sense that she hadn't cum. I offered to go down on her to bring her off. I want to do that some time; eat her pussy after I've cum in it. It'll be a challenge for me doing that post-orgasm, but I've thought about it a lot and I am ready to try it. She told me that an orgasm wasn't going to happen for her because she was very tired and also had too much wine. We snuggled more and exchanged our mutual, ever deepening love for each other.

It a rare event that I cum and she doesn't. She said that was totally content, and so that made me happy. The evening served as a counterpoint to the comment I described at the beginning of this post.